The Reflecting Pool

She Immediately Served Them

2012-02-05T13:52:00.000-08:00

Gospel Mk 1:29-39

On leaving the synagogue
Jesus entered the house of Simon and Andrew with James and John.
Simon's mother-in-law lay sick with a fever.
They immediately told him about her.
He approached, grasped her hand, and helped her up.
Then the fever left her and she waited on them.

When it was evening, after sunset,
they brought to him all who were ill or possessed by demons.
The whole town was gathered at the door.
He cured many who were sick with various diseases,
and he drove out many demons,
not permitting them to speak because they knew him.

Rising very early before dawn, he left
and went off to a deserted place, where he prayed.
Simon and those who were with him pursued him
and on finding him said, "Everyone is looking for you."
He told them, "Let us go on to the nearby villages
that I may preach there also.
For this purpose have I come."
So he went into their synagogues,
preaching and driving out demons throughout the whole of Galilee.

Of all the phrases that are a part of this Sunday’s gospel, the description of how Jesus handles Simon’s mother-in-law are the ones that strike me the most. The specific lines are these:

Simon's mother-in-law lay sick with a fever.
They immediately told him about her.
He approached, grasped her hand, and helped her up.
Then the fever left her and she waited on them.

There are so many times I have found myself spiritually ill and struggling. I find myself lost in a myriad of spiritual questions grasping at anything that will fill me, and many times these things are not good for my spiritual health. I am always grateful for those who immediately pray for me, entrusting me to the healing touch of Jesus. Spiritual sickness creates a type of fever of its own. If we understand the purpose of fever in regards to physical illness, we can have some understanding of fever in regards to spiritual illness. When our bodies are invaded by another organism whose sole purpose is to bring us to a physical demise, our body goes to war. White blood cells rush to the inflicted part of the body and attack the organism. Another defense mechanism that our body uses is fever. By escalating the temperature of the body, it is hoped that the heat will kill the invading organism.

This is not unlike what we have experienced spiritually. Sometimes we allow things to invade our spiritual selves. These “things” are the many sins we cause and are exposed to as we live in this broken world. Perhaps our disordered love for things causes us to create idols out of the physical pleasures we seek out and we make them a type of god in our lives. Perhaps the anger, lust, or indiscretions of others find a way to draw us into the same sins or the residues that they exude. Never believe that sin is only personal, it continues to have a communal aspect to it just like physical disease does. Too much exposure to sin and involvement in it ourselves causes us to lay sick on our beds of life.

There is of course a cure to our condition. As we lay there sick in our own disease, the grace of Christ waits for us to freely reach out and take hold of it. Christ will come to us. Christ will meet us in our diseased condition. He approaches us, reaches out his hand toward us, and if we are willing, we may grasp hold of him and allow the gracious healing love of his being to pour over us. Praise God for those who pray for us and bring us immediately to him. We are blessed to be a community of believers who desire the wellbeing of one another. We are surely loved by our Lord to have him come into our presence, grasp our sin soaked hand and lift us up.

The last part of these lines is a charge to those of us who have experienced the grace of his love and healing presence. Simon’s mother-in-law immediately served Christ and those who brought her to him. We who experience the healing presence of God must respond in the same way. We must server and love our Lord first, and then those God places in our lives. We are not saved for our own individual selfish goals, we are saved to be what God intended human beings to be; a community of love that serves and cares for one another with agape love.

A New Teaching with Authority

2012-01-30T16:33:00.000-08:00

Gospel Mk 1:21-28

Then they came to Capernaum,
and on the sabbath Jesus entered the synagogue and taught.
The people were astonished at his teaching,
for he taught them as one having authority and not as the scribes.
In their synagogue was a man with an unclean spirit;
he cried out, "What have you to do with us, Jesus of Nazareth?
Have you come to destroy us?
I know who you are, the Holy One of God!"
Jesus rebuked him and said,
"Quiet! Come out of him!"
The unclean spirit convulsed him and with a loud cry came out of him.
All were amazed and asked one another,
"What is this?
A new teaching with authority.
He commands even the unclean spirits and they obey him."
His fame spread everywhere throughout the whole region of Galilee.

Jesus comes and teaches with authority. His authority is evident not only in what he says but also by what he does. In psychology we would say that Jesus was congruent because his words and actions were united as one. There were no discrepancies between what Jesus said and what Jesus did. There was no duplicity in who he was; He was the word of God speaking the words of God. When we encounter the word of God we are also amazed by the experience if we allow it to speak directly to our hearts. It is never old, redundant or useless in the lives of men and women who allow it to have authority in their lives. We feel the word of God sink deeply into the marrow of our bones. Sometimes its power continues to strike us and we cry out, “What is this!” We may have heard these words so many times but again it is new, it is always “A new teaching with authority.” If we are to be transformed and changed by the word of God we must let the power and presence of Jesus which is the word of God take control of all we are. It must drive us to convulse and writhe in pain as the evil in us is purged from existence and we cry out to him as the Holy one of God, the most high Son of God! Allow Jesus to teach to you anew with authority. Allow him to be the power that sanctifies your very being. Allow the Word of God to be a strong force in your spiritual walk and be renewed by this new teaching capable of miracles only love can produce.

The Kingdom is Immediate - Be Transformed

2012-01-23T19:37:00.000-08:00

Mk 1:14-20

After John had been arrested,
Jesus came to Galilee proclaiming the gospel of God:
"This is the time of fulfillment.
The kingdom of God is at hand.
Repent, and believe in the gospel."

As he passed by the Sea of Galilee,
he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting their nets into the sea;
they were fishermen.
Jesus said to them,
"Come after me, and I will make you fishers of men."
Then they abandoned their nets and followed him.
He walked along a little farther
and saw James, the son of Zebedee, and his brother John.
They too were in a boat mending their nets.
Then he called them.
So they left their father Zebedee in the boat
along with the hired men and followed him.

Reflection

Nothing is more obvious in these words from St. Mark than the immediacy of the kingdom of God. Jesus makes it evident that now is the time. Now is the time for us as well. We must be evangelical in our faith and know that now is the time to embrace what surrounds us. The kingdom of God is not a distant heaven but an immediate experience of the presence of Christ in our lives. God surrounds us; his kingdom permeates all that we are. We may not see the palace, we may not perceive the angels, but the kingdom is surely around us. Our response to this kingdom must be like that of the Apostles mentioned above. We must respond with an immediate yes. We must leave that which binds us to our old way of life to embrace that which Christ calls us to do. Remember, the apostles may have dropped everything when they experienced the call, but they did not give up on the world. The work they did was transformed. They remained fishermen, but not as simple laborers. They became God’s fishermen. Whatever your job is; whatever you do on a daily basis, do it for the kingdom of God and you and the work you do will be different. Transformation of who we are transforms what we do because we no longer do it for anyone or anything other than Jesus. Jesus is a powerful aspect of the lives of those who make him a priority. Ask yourselves as you read this gospel, “Have I responded to the call of Christ? Do I perceive the kingdom permeating the visible world around me? Have I dropped the nets which bound me as ‘work’ to embrace the way of Christ?” This is what God asks of you. Be transformed by the Grace he pours into us through his Christ, see the world infused with the kingdom, and be made new so that all the things you touch can be renewed.

Religious Freedom - It's About More Than Contraception

2012-01-21T15:50:00.000-08:00

Okay, maybe many of you do not agree with the Catholic position on contraception, but we all agree that we should not be put into a position where we must give up our right to exercise our conscience in regards to what is right or wrong. I am always suspicious of too much government involvement in any aspect of our lives. Balance is important. Regulation is required to temper our fallen nature, but governments should not dictate our religious beliefs. This is why I have said we also need to be careful as Christians when we ask the government to define marriage and family aspects as well. These are naturally ordered entities, they do not require laws for their definition. Even if they define it as simply between a man and a women, who is to stop them from saying that a family can only include 2 children? Don't laugh, it has happened in China. Government should not be involved this deeply in our lives. I am posting Archbishop Dolan's statements here because I think he does a nice job describing the real issue with the policy regarding the requirement of employers to provide contraceptive coverage in their health insurance policies. It is bigger than the "Catholic" issue, and I hope all of you who believe in religious freedom can see that.

Cardinal-designate Timothy Dolan on HHS Conscience Regulation from Rocco Palmo on Vimeo.

Listening to God - Obedience and Love

2012-01-15T16:45:00.000-08:00

Listening to God, “Here I am Lord”

Samuel was sleeping in the temple of the LORD
where the ark of God was.
The LORD called to Samuel, who answered, "Here I am."
Samuel ran to Eli and said, "Here I am. You called me."
"I did not call you, " Eli said. "Go back to sleep."
So he went back to sleep.
Again the LORD called Samuel, who rose and went to Eli.
"Here I am, " he said. "You called me."
But Eli answered, "I did not call you, my son. Go back to sleep."

At that time Samuel was not familiar with the LORD,
because the LORD had not revealed anything to him as yet.
The LORD called Samuel again, for the third time.
Getting up and going to Eli, he said, "Here I am. You called me."
Then Eli understood that the LORD was calling the youth.
So he said to Samuel, "Go to sleep, and if you are called, reply,
Speak, LORD, for your servant is listening."
When Samuel went to sleep in his place,
the LORD came and revealed his presence,
calling out as before, "Samuel, Samuel!"
Samuel answered, "Speak, for your servant is listening."

Samuel grew up, and the LORD was with him,
not permitting any word of his to be without effect.

Reflection

In the reading from the book of Samuel we are reminded of our failure to recognize the voice of God among the tasks of our service to him. This has happened to me and it has never gone well. Very often those of us in ministry are quick to remind others that they need to take the time to stop and listen to God. We remind them of the difficulty staying connected with God in the business of their daily lives. To help these good people we suggest they take time in the morning, afternoon, and evening to stop and pray to God. If they can only do this, they might have a chance to discern the word of God in their lives with a little more accuracy.

Of course those of us working in Christian ministry or Christian organizations don’t have to worry, we are surrounded by God (so we think). We speak the” God talk” constantly and seldom need reminded that we are in his presence. We are simply doing what God has called us to do, right? Well…..Samuel’s story reminds us that this may not be the case. Samuel was serving God’s powerful presence in the temple. He stayed there constantly doing all that was required to keep the sacred space sacred. Yet, in the quiet of the sanctuary, when God spoke to him, Samuel did not know that voice which was most intimate to him. Instead of seeking God, he ran to Eli his mentor. He could not discern the voice of God even in this most sacred and intimate place.

God is constantly calling to each of us waiting for us to respond with “Here I am Lord!” We however constantly run to what we have been taught by others or to our past expectations. We love what is comfortable, not what is fresh and new. Sometimes when we here God’s voice we go through a grand processes discerning exactly what God expects of us. Silly, isn’t it? The answer is plain and expressed perfectly in Samuel’s response. All God wants is for us to be present; to be available to him. Mother Teresa once said, God does not ask us to be successful but rather to be obedient (I am paraphrasing since I do not have the quote handy). The first step to obedience is being present. “Here I am Lord” is the response we need to give. It is pure, honest, and most immediate.

I ask all my friends in ministry and outside of ministry to consider this. Have you been listening for the voice of God? When you hear it, whom do you seek? Do you find yourself returning to past experiences and expectations or do you follow the Spirit’s promptings? What do you do to keep from being immediately in his presence? This week reflect on being present to God and simply obediently following his will. I believe that his transforming love can only do good things in the soul who stops and waits in his presence.

The Process of Conversion and Healing

2012-01-15T14:16:00.000-08:00

I was going to publish this as a booklet but it never took off. I am sharing this for those of you who might like to read it. It is long.....but it is free!

Initial Thoughts about the Booklet

Who am I to write another booklet on the power of Christian living and the healing experience that Christ gives his disciples? That's a good question and one deserving an honest answer. I spent twelve years in pastoral ministry and have met a number of suffering human souls in that process. I also spent many years providing pastoral counseling, psychotherapy, and spiritual direction to individuals seeking healing and conversion in their lives. After years of study in counseling and psychology as well as theology I have found that all of these disciplines in and of themselves are only pieces of the healing and conversion process. It is an encounter with Christ guided through the disciplines mentioned above which makes the most difference. I do not want to undermine these disciplines, but in and of themselves they can only give us so much information. As human beings created to be in relationship with others, it is only the primary relationship with God that helps us get through difficult times.

What you will find in this booklet is a way to reflect on your healing and conversion experience. I do know that theories of human progress whether they be spiritual or psychological cannot really capture the complexity of human growth and development, but there is something to the experience of developing over time and through stages that is familiar to us all. What is printed in this booklet is a journey that I have seen relived over and over again with the clients I serve and the people I work with in spiritual direction. I believe what you will read rings true for most of us. Whether you are a spiritual director looking for a resource to give your directees or someone who wants to grow deeper in an understanding of God, this booklet will provide you with a Gospel metaphor of how to walk with God and grow closer to him every day of your life. The steps outlined here are not linear but rather circular. Just as we believe we have come to the place we walk most closely with God we find the need to start over again asking him what it is we must be healed of and how we can be converted to be more like him. I offer this to you my brothers and sisters suffering from the same distortions and disorders I suffer from. The disorder of which I speak is one common to the whole human condition. Its primary symptom is the desire for what is good and brings us wholeness and the inability to find it in all that surrounds us. The cure is the person of Jesus Christ. It is my prayer this booklet helps you develop that cure.

And we Begin

The purpose of this reflection is to help one understand the process of conversion and healing from the perspective of theological reflection. In particular, I want to reflect on what it means to allow the grace of God to conform us to his image and heal us of our wounds. Through conversion and healing one reflects the holiness of God in his or her life. Being converted and healed is a means for participating more fully in the life of God. Because of our fallen nature we are blind to this life and it’s through conversion and healing we are able to regain what we’ve lost. It’s foolish to believe this is something we do alone. It’s only through the help of Jesus Christ and what he has done that we can return to the life we were created for; a life lived in communion with God the Father, through Jesus Christ, in the fellowship of the Holy Spirit. It also requires a community of people to help as well. This is why God has created us to be a part of a communion of love we call the church. Let's take a look at what conversion and healing are about from a Gospel passage and start moving closer to the God who loves us despite our failures.
I want to use a reading from the Gospel of Mark. We will use chapter 10 verses 46 through 52 for our reflection. The Gospel reads as follows:

“As Jesus was leaving Jericho with his disciples and a sizable crowd,
Bartimaeus, a blind man, the son of Timaeus,
sat by the roadside begging.
On hearing that it was Jesus of Nazareth,
he began to cry out and say,
"Jesus, son of David, have pity on me."
And many rebuked him, telling him to be silent.
But he kept calling out all the more,
"Son of David, have pity on me."
Jesus stopped and said, "Call him."
So they called the blind man, saying to him,
"Take courage; get up, Jesus is calling you."
He threw aside his cloak, sprang up, and came to Jesus.
Jesus said to him in reply, "What do you want me to do for you?"
The blind man replied to him, "Master, I want to see."
Jesus told him, "Go your way; your faith has saved you."
Immediately he received his sight
and followed him on the way.”

We Recognize the Need

“Bartimaeus, a blind man, the son of Timaeus,
sat by the roadside begging”

Let’s look at the first part of the above passage and think about its application in the study of conversion and healing. Jesus is walking past a blind man; a man who in the context of this time in history was the least of the least. Sometimes we are very much like Bartimaeus.. We may not be destitute beggars in some urban alley looking for our next meal, but we all recognize the disparity of life from time to time. It’s then that we’re ready to cry out for help so that healing and conversion can begin.

Our lives are cluttered with commitments to sin we are unaware exists. We continue in sin because we are indifferent or “blind” to its presence in our lives. This doesn’t excuse us from the responsibility for sin, but certainly we frequently commit sin without knowing it. Why is this case? It’s because we live in a fallen world. Because of this fallen world we are deformed by original sin and incapable of leading a holy life without divine grace. We need help and that help comes from Jesus Christ who leads us to the Father by the gift of his Spirit. The Spirit opens our eyes to the richness of a life shared in communion with God. To see implies we have responsibility. To be able to see implies self-direction and accountability. That scares some people. Spiritual blindness is no different. We would rather have someone lead us by the hand and not be responsible for the stumbling we experience. If we cover our eyes and let the world lead us around we are not responsible for our own stumbling but rather can blame others or our own blind condition. However, the gift of spiritual sight also opens up a world of spiritual gifts. Much like a blind person cured of physical blindness has reservations about his or her new life of sightedness, a spiritually blind person has reservations about the new life he or she face as well. A whole new world has been opened to them, but they are not sure what that world is like. That is why conversion and spiritual healing can be intimidating and why we might avoid growing in our spiritual walk subconsciously. It is so much easier to simply stay where we are.

The first step of conversion is recognition of our blindness. Like any healing, if you don't know you need help, you won't seek a cure. Spiritual sickness is no different. Perhaps we’ve chased the mighty dollar in a career where we roamed the globe and were only home on weekends. When ten years of your life goes by and you're dealing with a troubled teenage son, you say, “What have I been doing?” Perhaps your spouse is stricken with a life threatening disease forcing you to rethink your priorities. These are big issues causing us to “Wake up and smell the coffee!” It’s in these moments we look at how blindly we’ve allowed the world to lead us, like blind beggars from one part of a city to another. That's when we say to ourselves, “I need help!” The key to continual conversion and healing is recognizing our blind spots. Blind spots are interesting things in the physical eye. Because of the physical design of the eye, there is an inability to see whatever it is we look at completely as it objectively exists. Our brain compensates for this and “fills in” what it thinks should be there. Our spiritual eyes will do the same. When we are not aware of our blind spots, we “fill in” what we think should be there and often it's not what God would have us see. Even when we receive our sight we must learn what the objects are we're experiencing for the first time. A blind person who suddenly sees doesn’t know the visual experience of the color blue. The same is true when we begin seeing with spiritual eyes. We need someone to teach us how to make sense of what we see.

So, summarizing the first step of healing and conversion we recognize one must come to the realization that they need help. A person must recognize the depravity of their situation and the need for someone to help them. Bartimaeus recognized his blindness and the miserable life he lived because of it. The challenge for us is to recognize that we too live in a depraved state even in our comfortable lifestyles. Like Bartimaeus we must recognize the need for change in our lives.

We Cry Out

On hearing that it was Jesus of Nazareth,
he began to cry out and say,
"Jesus, son of David, have pity on me."

So, step one is complete; we recognize the need for change in our lives. What do we do? Sometimes we do nothing. We accept our condition and do nothing about it while repressing the emotions and emptiness trying to bubble to the surface of our existence. Is that the appropriate thing to do from a psychological or spiritual perspective? Is that what Bartimaeus did? No, if we look at what the Gospel tells us, Bartimaeus began to call out to Jesus. Why would he do that? Well, if we consider this Gospel with some liberty let’s think about what was happening. First, there were probably many people who had heard of Jesus when these events were unfolding. Bartimaeus probably knew little about Jesus in the totality of God's revelation but he knew something. He may not have had all the details about this man, but he probably would have known two important facts. First, that this Jesus was a great teacher who was changing people’s lives when they listened and acted on what he said. Secondly, that this Jesus was capable of miraculously healing people. That was enough for Bartimaeus. But still, why take the risk and cry out to this mystery teacher?

When we’re at our ropes end, it can be a pretty intimidating point in our lives. We’ve pretty much determined we don’t like the situation we’re in and there’s little if anything we can do on our own to change things. That’s when we find ourselves able to do nothing other than cry out for help. In our spiritual lives, we may discover we’re at a loss and can’t begin putting things back together and live the life of peace we long for. Our first step was recognizing how blind we’ve been to the sin and failure in our lives. Our second step is to see that in our complete depraved situation, we need to ask for help. Who do we ask it from? Well, as people who live in a post resurrection world, we all have heard of his name. We may not know much about him but we’ve heard two things. First, this person was a great teacher and people who listen and live as he instructs them experience life-changing events. And secondly, this person can miraculously heal and bring new life to our lives. Who is it? Why it is Jesus of course.

It surprises me that many people who call themselves Christian have such a complete misunderstanding or lack of knowledge about Christ. I don’t know why it surprises me though, because I was the same way. I remember being brought up in the church and receiving instruction and pastoral care from those around me. I remember how my particular Christian community provided the rituals and services to claim me as Christ’s own. I also remember that it was about the same age I quit taking church seriously (I’m not so sure I took it serious before that either.)

I was raised in a house where mom took us to church fairly frequently. Dad went sometimes but not as often as mom. I don’t remember ever seeing my parents do much more than that. In fact, I don’t remember my parents sharing much of their spiritual lives together. Thus was created two more lost Christians, myself and my younger brother. By the time I was in college, church meant little to me. I also met a wonderful fallen away Methodist girl. We did all the things that the natural world told us to do. We met, fell in love, enjoyed each other’s bodies outside the bond of marriage, and eventually moved in together. I truly loved (and still do love) this woman but neither of us were living a very Christian life.

My wife and I moved to a small town in Western Pennsylvania called Blairsville. We lived across the street from a little church. We had gone to services there once or twice and my wife liked it. It was about that time my wife went through a difficult situation with an Alcoholic mother. I remember coming home and finding her just emotionally exhausted. It wasn’t long after that she decided she wanted to be more involved in religious affairs and she said she wanted to look into becoming a member of that little church across the street. My response was somewhere along the lines of, “Why do you want to do that?”

It’s safe to say I wouldn’t have won an award for evangelist of the year. But the more important point of the story is that my wife was at the second point of a conversion and healing experience. She recognized she had to cry out to Jesus to get the help she needed. We had both heard of this Jesus, what he taught, and that he could miraculously change lives. It wasn’t until we were at the place where we recognized first, how blind we were and how grave our situation was and secondly, that he had the answers we needed and that we could cry out to him for help.

In the Gospel passage, Bartimaeus cries out "Jesus, son of David, have pity on me." Although we may not use the same words, our cry has the same meaning. For my wife and I it was, “Jesus, we are at a loss with our family, help us build a new one.” For others it may be, “Jesus, I have lived a life after my own wants and desires, teach me to want what is important for eternity.” Sometimes it’s a cry for healing, understanding, forgiveness, etc. The most basic and important point is that it’s a cry to the only one who can actually help us in our blindness and needs. For us, Bartimaeus’ cry is the cry of those who may not know all the details of who Jesus is. We may not even understand what this cry for help implies, but it is a cry that recognizes Jesus as the answer.

We Persist

And many rebuked him, telling him to be silent.
But he kept calling out all the more…..

The funny thing about crying out for help especially when you call out to Jesus is that you’re quite often told to hush up. That’s unfortunate because plenty of people do just that. When we cry out for help, all the other blind people try to hush us up. We ask Jesus again and again to help us and again and again the voices around us tell us to quit calling out to this person, he can’t help you.

The voices will tell people things like, “Go ahead, get an abortion the ‘thing’ you’re carrying in your body is nothing more than a fetus.” Maybe the voices say something like, “Why do you want to belong to a man-made religion, you can't find God there!” Sometimes they say things like “How can you believe there is only one truth and that this selected organization or group of people has the answer?” Whatever they are, the voices ring out and they’re all saying the same thing. Like those who kept rebuking Bartimaeus, the voices are telling us to be quite, accept your lot in life, and surely don’t look to some strange teacher for an answer to your problems. Find a more worldly and scientific way of dealing with things. Maybe you should just go and beg at another part of the city or get yourself a bigger bowl; just don’t call out to that Jesus again.
In this third phase of conversion and healing we must persist and turn a deaf ear to the voices around us. My wife did that when I told her “Why do you want to go to church, I never got anything out of it!” I was just one of the many voices keeping my wife down. However she persisted. She saw that she needed help, that somehow drawing closer to Jesus was the answer. Although she didn’t understand all the implications of what calling out to him meant, she persisted! She was like this poor beggar in the gospel. She wasn’t going to let other people tell her there was another way to get things fixed, she wanted miracles and she wanted changes and that meant going to someone who could do that. This is healing and conversion at one of its most powerful moments. Now we can be open to the grace of God. In this phase, our persistence is a direct result of the first two phases and it is the height of our cry for help. We have done our part, now we let God do his.

Jesus Calls to Us

Jesus stopped and said, "Call him."

What must have it been like to hear the voice of the Lord? Can you imagine the sound of his voice? Was it a calming voice or an authoritative voice? Did he have a deep voice and was he soft spoken? These questions fly through our minds when we reflect on the above passage or any time scripture speaks of the Lord's voice. Jesus said, “Call him.” The Lord requested this poor blind beggar to come forward.

We often forget that prayer is always answered. We think just because things don’t happen the way we want them to that our cry for help is never heard, but it is. When we cry out Jesus always calls back. He reaches from the great distance to be with us; he calls us.
How might the Lord's voice sound today? Often it’s a subtle urge, beckoning us to spend more time with spiritual things. Maybe we feel the desire to pray more often. Maybe we begin to see our relationships with others differently. Whatever it is we’re prompted to do, it is because God calls us. Why would he call us? First we must understand this about the God we worship. He is much more desirous of us than we are of him. The irony of the situation is that we need him and he has no real need of us! We call out to Christ in need, and he calls back to us for completely unselfish reasons. He answers our cry with his call because he wants to be with us.

God is often seen as a great lover who has gone mad for his loved one. Why else would he go to such extremes to call us to himself? He breaks through history and time and takes on the flesh of a poor and helpless creature. He who is master and creator of all becomes the very thing he creates. By becoming weak and vulnerable he shows us how strong his love is. Just like the passionate lover in a romance novel who braves dangerous travel and terrible conditions to be with the one he loves, so too does God traverse the great chasm that divides us so he can be with the ones he loves. He does this so we may hear his call.

If God wouldn’t have taken on human flesh, we wouldn’t have been able to see him, experience him, or understand him as an approachable God. He would’ve always be the God Moses knew, a God of distant reverence and authoritative presence. Though this is surely God in many ways, God wanted to be known by his people in such an intimate way that he became one of them or should we say one with them. To maintain his presence among us and commune with us in an even greater and more vulnerable capacity, he gave us his very presence sacramentally. When Christians gather together, God is there. When they feed on his holy word, he is there. He becomes the very food for our body and soul and the very drink of our spirit. This is the extreme action Christ takes to be experienced by us with our ears, eyes, and other senses in the here and now. He is not simply a God of the past we read about in history books although he existed before all of time, nor is he a God only of a future reward; he is a God present to us now! He is the God who was, who is, and who ever shall be. We the blind are made to see. We, who are in such a profound need, now can touch the very cure for our pain.

When we read in this brief passage that Jesus Calls Bartimaeus it is important we understand the beauty and great love this implies. God so loves us even in our blindness and pain that he wants to commune with us. God himself wants to converse with us. This is important to remember as we move through the pains and trials of conversion and healing. If we aren’t convinced that God loves us in such a great capacity, we may not have the courage to go to him. He wants us to come to him. He wants to share himself with us. Are we worthy of such divine love? Of course not! However, God knows that with his help, we can become worthy. By partaking of his grace we can be transformed and made holy. We can be united with him. To get there and pull ourselves out of our grave condition requires us to recognize that even though we may not feel worthy of such a lovely gift it pleases God to give it. He has us return to him; he calls us, because despite how the world has made us feel, we are loved. We are loved in such a great capacity that we must now move toward the one we know is the answer to our sad condition.

His Minister Comes

So they called the blind man, saying to him,
"Take courage; get up, Jesus is calling you."

The healing and conversion process is more than a personal experience. From a personal perspective we do follow the steps we’ve been describing. We come to recognize our blindness; we cry out to God, and we persist even when we are given other alternatives than God. We also see God's desire for us which moves us forward in conversion calling each of us personally. We experience God going to great extremes to meet us where we are. Recognizing that God wants us to come to him, we are made aware of this deep desire and love he has for us which can make us feel we are unworthy of this encounter. Yet as we discussed above, the desire in us to please God forces us to move closer to him even when we feel unworthy of what he is offering. The problem is sometimes we falter in our movement towards God. Sometimes the subtleness of God’s call gets missed in the haze of our despair.

If you look at the passage it says that Jesus said “Call Him.” Who is Jesus talking to? Who is he telling to call Bartimaeus? The answer is simple; he’s asking his disciples. They are the ministers of his call and the sacramental expression of his presence. They will insure that Bartimaeus comes forward. If Bartimaeus feels he has gone too far and is imposing on the master, the disciples will urge him forward. In the passage above notice the disciples tell him to “Take Courage”. We also need a minister of God to help us take courage and go to the master.
I can remember times in my life where I believed I needed something more than the material pleasures of the world. Sometimes I would read the bible but because I had no real religious affiliation, I would stop. Sometimes I‘d read the great philosophers but after my intellect was fed, I‘d stop reading. There was never anyone there to keep me moving forward. I was never really changed by any of these exercises; they just simply eased my spiritual and intellectual hunger.

When I got involved in my faith again, it was a different story. If I started slacking a little, missing church or not taking time to pray, there was always someone helping me get things straight again. Sometimes it was the pastor encouraging me to keep moving towards Christ. Sometimes it was a fellow parishioner inviting me to a prayer meeting or scripture study. When I began studying theology, there were a number of times I wanted to quit. However, friends and family pressed me forward to take courage and be engulfed by the mystery of God. I‘m glad all these people were there for me. Their encouragement deepened my conversion experience. When I want to give up or find an easier way out, it’s the wise disciples of Christ moving me forward toward our Master.

In our conversion and healing experiences we need other people to help us along the way. This is the gift of the church. It's there we find the voices contrary to those of the world. Previously we talked about the voices telling Bartimaeus to be quiet and not call out to Christ; in the Church we find the disciples saying, “Take Courage, he is calling you.” It’s important to allow others to help us focus on Christ. It’s also important to be encouraging to others who need to hear the voice of hope.

We Leave our Comfort Zone

“He threw aside his cloak, sprang up, and came to Jesus”

Bartimaeus had few things in his life. He owned a begging bowl and a cloak. When he understood Jesus was calling him he was willing to give it all up. He throws it aside and runs groping and feeling his way to the Lord. He gives it all up and walks away from all the comforts of his past life. You ask yourself, “What’s the big deal; all he gave up was a dirty old cloak and a beat up begging bowl.” Don’t you see your very possessions and earthly things are nothing other than a dirty old cloak and a beat up begging bowl? Bartimaeus saw how useless the things are that keep us tied to our broken existence. We should see them as the same. They can be used for good, and often are a blessing, but when they keep us from seeing Christ, they are garbage and should be cast aside.

I‘ve often chased things of this world and justified doing so in the name of Christ. Sometimes it’s been more about how much a talk I was giving paid rather than how many people my message touched. Too many times we’d rather be blind and hang on to our begging bowl instead of seeing the truth and giving up the things of our old existence. Conversion has a cost. Conversion means a part of you must die and be left behind. Conversion means lifting the cross. We all know the story of the Rich young man who came to Jesus and asked him what he must do to have eternal life (If you don’t know the story read Luke 18:18-23). He was a man who followed his religious laws well. However it was his possessions that kept him from being fully converted to Christ.

Are we willing to throw aside the things of this world that keep us from Christ? Are we willing to grope and reach as the blind people we are to the one chance we have to see again? This is the next phase of conversion. This is when we put all our trust in the answer we have come to know. This is when we give up our old life and run to Christ.

What we Truly Want

“Jesus said to him in reply, ‘What do you want me to do for you?’
The blind man replied to him, ‘Master, I want to see.’"

How would you react when the God of the universe looks at you and says, “What do you want me to do for you?” God is continually asking us this very question. However because we are so focused on doing for ourselves we seldom come to him with sincere hearts. We seldom come to him with trust and hope believing he can do all the things we need him to do. Sometimes we do ask. Too often we ask out of selfishness or pride.

Bartimaeus knew what he wanted. He wanted true lasting change. He wanted to see the face of God. He knew he couldn’t do that on his own. He knew that he needed pure divine grace and that’s what he received. God gave him vision. God gave him an opportunity to break free of his past life and gave him sight. When you go to God, are you telling him what you truly want? Are you putting all that you are before him and asking him with sincere hearts? Conversion requires you ask with sincerity and accept God’s answer when God gives it and how he decides to give it. True vision, the vision Bartimaeus received, is the vision to see things as God does. Bartimaeus was asking to see but not in the physical sense (Although Christ gave him that as well), he was able to see with the eyes of God. Do we really want to see with the eyes of God? Do we really want to echo the Lord’s Prayer by saying “Thy will be done?” The next phase of our conversion is a test of our willingness to echo “Thy will be done.”

Who's Way do We Follow

‘Jesus told him, "Go your way; your faith has saved you."
Immediately he received his sight
and followed him on the way.’

We finally arrive at the stage where Bartimaeus gets what he always wanted. Jesus tells him that he can go his way and that he expects nothing for what he has done. But the last verse of this study says it all. Bartimaeus doesn’t go his way he follows Jesus’ way. This is what happens when we are converted. Our way is no longer the important way. We see the only way is Jesus’ way. When conversion does its work, we no longer go after what we want. We can only see what God wants.

This is the work of God. We who are the blind needy beggar turn to him. We come wanting to free ourselves from our miserable condition. We come at first with selfish intent yet we are converted to seek and find only what God desires for our lives. To be converted is to be united with Christ. Oh that we would continually be Bartimaeus and in our blindness continually seek Christ, the cure for all life’s troubles. Christ is calling us. We need only grope in our darkness towards his light. Although it may be dim and hard to make out because we are so blind, it’s there. The greatest gift I ever received is the chance to encounter the living God. I don’t want to ever take that for granted again. That’s why I’ll always be trying to gain greater vision into the divine life. That’s why I’ll always be a Bartimaeus, leaving the old chains of life behind and reaching for the Master’s gentle touch.

Closing Comments

We’ve seen how conversion brings us into the very life of God. We see how we come from being a person entangled in the world to a person of God. My prayer is that by meditating on this same scripture passage you can find yourself as the person of Bartimaeus. He presents us with a model of conversion and healing. Let me recap what we’ve learned by meditating on this passage. From this passage we’ve been able to see the necessary stages of conversion. They are as follows:

1. We recognize we need a change. We recognize that our current condition requires drastic measures and that we’re no longer able to help ourselves.

2. When we recognize we can’t help ourselves and there is nothing this world can provide us with to cure our illness, we cry out. The very essence of our soul cries out to God.

3. Because we know only God can help us, because we realize he is the only answer for us, we persist no matter what others tell us. We will not be pulled away from Christ because it is in him that we know we will find the answer. We may not understand what that implies but we persist in our call.

4. In our persistence and our desperation, we hear Christ’s call. We hear his voice perhaps for the first time in our lives because we have been made ready to receive his word.

5. Jesus sends someone to help us draw closer to him. Because we are blind and cannot find our way on our own, God sends us someone to bring us to him. Maybe it is a friend, maybe a pastor, or maybe a stranger. God will draw us closer to him through others. Others will also encourage us to continue to move closer to God when we falter.

6. Now we leave all that was ours behind and run to him. All that was we give up. Our past lives and possessions are no longer of interest to us rather the gift of the presence of Jesus Christ draws us forward.

7. Christ asks us what we want, and we tell him. In his Graciousness he gives it to us freely. We come to understand what it means to want what God has always wanted for us.

8. When we receive from God, we respond with our very lives. All that we are becomes all that God wants. We follow him, not our desires any longer.

This is the Gift of conversion and healing. May God in his infinite love and wisdom continue to call you to a share in his divine life, and my you respond and see, as Bartimaeus was able to see.

Live as you Believe

2011-11-04T19:12:00.000-07:00

“If a tiny spark of God’s love already burns within you, do not expose it to the wind, for it may get blown out. Keep the stove tightly shut so that it will not lose its heat and grow cold. In other words, avoid distractions as well as you can. Stay quiet with God. Do not spend your time in useless chatter.

If teaching and preaching is your job, then study diligently and apply yourself to whatever is necessary for doing the job well. Be sure that you first preach by the way you live. If you do not, people will notice that you say one thing, but live otherwise, and your words will bring only cynical laughter and a derisive shake of the head."

– St. Charles Borromeo

Do we Take the Time to Reflect on God?

2011-10-19T17:01:00.000-07:00

I know, it seems so cliche these days to say that we need to put down the computer; turn off the television, and spend some time with God. As an oblate of St. Benedict though, I have to tell you, it is a refreshing experience. While in Latrobe Pa about two weeks ago I reengaged the monestary I am affiliated with, St. Vincent. It was there many years ago that I made three solemn promises that mark me as a lay person who believes strongly in the Benedictine way of life. The first promise is one of stability. Stability for the Benedictine oblate means that no matter how tough it gets and how much you may want to run away from the place God has placed you; it is important to stay. Not to stay in some masochistic way but rather to stay and learn from the good and the bad in the situation God has placed you. All of life is transformative so listen to what God has to say where you are and allow it to be a "Holy encounter". The second promise I made was one of obedience. Obedience is a promise that says, "God places people over you and it is important to hear how he speaks to you through them." Of course discernment is important, but obedience can be a virtue leading us to be more like Christ who was "Obedient event to death on the cross" (Philipians 2:8). The last promise is one of conversion to death. Of course this implies that we are continually "a work in progress" and that we must commit to our continued conversion until God is through with us.

All of these promise expect that the Oblate will be taking the time to spend moments with God. This can be done formally as in praying the psalms or reflecting on scripture but more often it is done informally. Spending time with your family, appreciating your spouse, taking in a cool fall afternoon, etc. However, to do this, we sometimes have to unplug. By giving our full attention to the ones we love and the creation God has blessed us with we somehow have a lovely encounter with the divine. Take some time to unplug.......God is waiting.

Losing Young Christians

2011-10-11T04:29:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, I work at Regent University, an Evengelical Protestant University. I think one of the best aspects of my job is I get to engage young people who are in love with Christ. They are definitely serious about their faith, but they are also in that great stage of life where things are fresh, they are full of expectations, and they want to learn, grow, and become the future leaders of America. It makes me sad to come across news like the following because it reminds me that not all the young people in the world are like those I teach. Here is a clip from a research project showing reasons why we are losing the young Christian population:

"New research by the Barna Group finds they view churches as judgmental, overprotective, exclusive and unfriendly towards doubters. They also consider congregations antagonistic to science and say their Christian experience has been shallow.

The findings, the result of a five-year study, are featured in "You Lost Me: Why Young Christians are Leaving Church and Rethinking Faith," a new book by Barna president David Kinnaman. The project included a study of 1,296 young adults who were current or former churchgoers.

Researchers found that almost three out of five young Christians (59 percent) leave church life either permanently or for an extended period of time after age 15.

One in four 18- to 29-year-olds said "Christians demonize everything outside of the church." One in three said "Church is boring."

Clashes between church expectations and youths' experience of sexuality have driven some away. One in six young Christians said they "have made mistakes and feel judged in church because of them." And 40 percent of 18- to 29-year-old Catholics said their church's doctrine on sexuality and birth control is "out of date."

Kinnaman called the problem of young dropouts from church "particularly urgent" since many churches are used to "traditional" young adults who leave home, get educated, find a job and start a family before age 30.

"Churches are not prepared to handle the 'new normal,"' said Kinnaman. "However, the world for young adults is changing in significant ways, such as their remarkable access to the world and worldviews via technology, their alienation from various institutions, and their skepticism toward external sources of authority, including Christianity and the Bible."

2011-10-04T14:00:00.000-07:00

Everyone,Maronite Christians are a particular rite within Roman Catholicism. It appears that the leader of this group is not very happy with how he is being treated by the President of the United States:The head of the Maronite Church, Patriarch Peter Bechara, has stirred up controversy in his home turf of Lebanon, as well as in Europe and North America. Earlier in September — while in France on his first official trip as the patriarch of the world’s 5.5 million Maronites — he voiced his concern for Syria’s Christians should the current government there collapse. While not supporting the Assad regime, the patriarch expressed alarm about the possibility of a militarized civil war in Syria, which could divide the country along religious lines, and the subsequent rise of a militant Islamic state. While Christians make up 10 percent of the population, they are a protected minority by President Bashar al-Assad, who belongs to the Alawite community, a small sect derived from Shiite Islam. The vast majority of Syrians, 80 percent of the population, are Sunni Muslims. The patriarch’s remarks created a furor in Lebanon, where Maronite Christians are divided between those who support Syria and their Shiite Muslim allies in Lebanon and those Maronites who have sought alliances with Lebanon’s Sunni Muslims. This controversy has affected the patriarch’s first pastoral visit to the United States, when a meeting with President Barack Obama was canceled. Though no official explanation has been given for the change of plans, Bishop Gregory Mansour of the Maronite Eparchy of St. Maron of Brooklyn has made it clear in an open letter to the president that the Obama Administration rebuffed the patriarch:“Because he has spoken out expressing his concern for the future of Christians in the Middle East, he has been rebuffed by you and your Administration. It is pure hypocrisy for the leader of the free world to refuse to meet with Patriarch Rai especially since the Prime Minister of Israel can come and completely disregard essential parts of a peace plan and still be given a warm welcome, and the King of Saudi Arabia, where Christians have no freedom whatsoever, can be received with highest honors. Mr. President, you are ignoring the plight of Christians in the Middle East!”You can read the Patriarch's letter here.Peace,Dr. Hankle

Another Sept 11th Story

2011-09-11T20:10:00.000-07:00

I know, I get so many of these posts from the Deacon's Bench that you may as well go to that Blog and read them. This one had me reflecting on the eve of Sept 11th. So many were sacrificed, so many lost. May this priest of God's ultimate sacrifice bring Glory to Christ every time his story is told. Here is the homily from his funeral. If you are wondering, that is his body being carried out by the men he served.

Homily Preached at Funeral Mass for Fr. Mychal Judge, OFM

Delivered at the Mass of Christian Burial for Fr. Mychal F. Judge, OFM, celebrated at St. Francis of Assisi Church, 135 W. 31st Street, New York, NY. Edward Cardinal Egan, presider. Vested concelebrants: Fr. John Felice, OFM, provincial minister, Holy Name Province; Fr. Peter Brophy, OFM, pastor; Fr. Myles Murphy, St. Gabriel Church, Bronx, N.Y.

by Fr. Michael Duffy, OFM

Your Eminence, Mr. President, our provincial Fr. John, family and friends of Mychal Judge: good morning everyone and welcome to this celebration. And it is a celebration. My first thought would be for Michael’s sisters, Dympna and Erin. Our hearts are with you all these days and in the days to come.

After all that has been written about Fr. Mychal Judge in the newspapers, after all that has been spoken about him on television, the compliments, the accolades, the great tribute that was given to him last night at the Wake Service, I stand in front of you and honestly feel that the homilist at Mother Teresa’s funeral had it easier than I do. [LAUGHTER]

We Franciscans have very many traditions. You, who know us, know that some are odd, some are good. I don’t know what category this one fills. [LAUGHTER]

One of our traditions is that we’re all given a sheet of paper. The title on the top says, “On the Occasion of Your Death.” Notice, it doesn’t say, in case you die. [LAUGHTER] We all know that it’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when. But on that sheet of paper lists categories that each one of us is to fill out, where we want our funeral celebrated, what readings we’d like, what music we’d like, where we’d like to be buried.

Mychal Judge filled out, next to the word homilist, my name, Mike Duffy. I didn’t know this until Wednesday morning. I was shaken and shocked … for one thing, as you know from this gathering, Mychal Judge knew thousands of people. He knew, he seemed to know everybody in the world. And if he didn’t then, they know him now, I’m sure. Certainly he had friends that were more intellectual than I, certainly more holy than I, people more well known. And so I sat with that thought, why me … and I came down to the conclusion that I was simply and solely his friend … and I’m honored to be called that.

I always tell my volunteers in Philadelphia that through life, you’re lucky if you have four or five people whom you can truly call a friend. And you can share any thought you have, enjoy their company, be parted and separated, come back together again and pick up right where you left off. They’ll forgive your faults and affirm your virtues. Mychal Judge was one of those people for me. And I believe and hope I was for him …

We as a nation have been through a terrible four days and it doesn’t look like it’s ending. Pope John Paul called Tuesday a dark day in the history of humanity. He said it was a terrible affront to human dignity. In our collective emotions, in our collective consciousness, all went through the same thing on Tuesday morning.

I was driving a van in Philadelphia picking up food for our soup kitchen, when I began to hear the news, one after another after another. You all share that with me. We all felt the same … It was at 2 o’clock in the afternoon that I came back to the soup kitchen, feeling very heavy with the day’s events. At 4:30, I received a call from Fr. Ron Pecci, my good friend. I was, we were serving the meal to the homeless. And I was called to the phone. And he said, “It’s happened.” And I said, “What?” And he said, “Mychal Judge is dead.”

At that moment, my already strained emotions did spiritually what the World Trade towers had done physically just hours before. And I felt inside … my whole spirit crumble to the ground and … turn into a pile of rubble at the bottom of my heart. I sat down on the stairs to the cellar, with the phone still to my ear and we cried for 15 minutes.

Later that day, I was in my room. I had my head in my hands, on my desk, and a very holy friar, whom I have the privilege to live with, Fr. Charlie Finnegan, just gently slipped a piece of paper in front of me and whispered, “This was written thousands of years ago in the midst of a national tragedy. It’s a quote from the Book of Lamentations.” “The favors of the Lord are not exhausted. His mercies are not spent. Every morning, they are renewed. Great is his faithfulness. I will always trust in him.” I read that quote and I pondered and listened, contemplated. I thought of other passages in the Gospel that said, evil will not triumph, that in the darkest hour when Jesus lay dying on the cross, that suffering led to the resurrection.

I read and thought that the light is better than darkness, hope better than despair. And in thinking of my faith and the faith of Mychal Judge and all he taught me and from scripture … I spiritually began to lift up my head and once again see the stars. And so, I had the courage today to stand in front of you to celebrate Mychal’s life. For it is his life that speaks, not his death. It is his courage that he showed on Tuesday that speaks, not my fear. And it is his hope and belief in the goodness of all people that speaks, not my despair. And so I am here to talk about my friend.

Because so much has been written about him, I’m sure you know his history. He was a
New Yorker through and through. As you know, he was born in Brooklyn … He was born, well, some of you may not know this, he was a twin. Dympna is his twin … He was
born May 11th, she was born May 13th. [LAUGHTER] Even in birth, Mychal had to have a story. [LAUGHTER] He just did nothing normally, no. [LAUGHTER]

He grew up in Brooklyn playing stickball and riding his bike like all the little kids then. Then, as you’ve heard the story so many times, he put the shoe polish, the rags in a bag and took his bicycle over here, and in front of the Flatiron building, he shined shoes for extra money, when he was a little kid. But very early on in his life, when he was a teenager, and this is a little unusual, because of the faith that he believed, that his mother and his sisters passed on to him, because of his love for God and Jesus, he thought he would like to be a Franciscan for the rest of his life. And so, as a teenager, he joined the friars. And he never left. He never left because his spirit was truly, purely Franciscan, simple, joyful, life loving and laughter. He was ordained in 1961 and spent many years as a parish priest in New Jersey, East Rutherford, Rochelle Park, West Milford. Spent some time at Siena College, one year I believe in Boston.

And then he came back to his beloved New York, whose heart really never left the city. But I came to know him 10 years after he was ordained. I was ordained and this is a
little ironic … My 30th anniversary of ordination was Tuesday, Sept. 11. This always was a happy day for me, and I think from now, it’s going to be mixed. But my first assignment was very happy. I was sent to East Rutherford, New Jersey, and Mychal was there working in parochial work. And of course, if you know in the seminary, we learned a lot of theory. We learn a lot of knowledge but you really have to get out with people to know how to deal and how to really minister. So, I arrived there with my eyes wide open, my ears wide open. And my model turned out to be Mychal Judge. He was, without knowing it, my mentor and I was his pupil. I watched how he dealt with people. He really was a people person. While the rest of us were running around organizing altar boys and choirs and liturgies and decorations, he was in his office listening. His heart was open. His ears were open and especially he listened to people with problems.

He carried around with him an appointment book. He had appointments to see people four and five weeks in advance. He would come to the rec room at night at 11:30, having just finished his last appointment, because when he related to a person, and you all know this, they felt like he was their best friend. When he was talking with you, you were the only person on the face of the earth. And he loved people and that showed and that makes all the difference. You can serve people but nless you love them, it’s not really ministry. In fact, a description that St. Bonaventure wrote of St. Francis once, I think is very apt for Michael. St. Bonaventure said that St. Francis had a bent for compassion. And certainly Mychal Judge did. The other thing about Mychal Judge is he loved to be where the action was. If he heard … a fire engine or a police car, any news, in the car he’d go and away he’d be off. He loved to be where people were active, where there was a crisis, so he could insert God in what was going on. That was his way of doing things.

I remember once I came back to the friary and the secretary told me, “There’s a hostage situation in Carlstadt and Mychal Judge is up there.” So, I said, “Oh, gosh.” Well, I got in the car … drove up there. There was a house and there was a man on the second floor with a gun pointed to his wife’s head and the baby in her arms. And he was threatening to kill her. When I got there, there were several people around, lights, policemen and a fire truck. And where was Mychal Judge? Up on the ladder in his habit, on the top of the ladder, talking to the man through the window of the second floor. I nearly died because in one hand he had his habit out like this, because he didn’t want to trip. So, he was hanging on the ladder with one hand. He wasn’t very dexterous, anyway. [LAUGHTER] I was fearful and he was, you know, his head bobbing like, “Well, you know, John, maybe we can work this out. You know, this really isn’t the way to do it. Why don’t you come downstairs, and we’ll have a cup of coffee and talk this thing over?” I was there, we’re all there, saying, “He’s going to fall off the ladder. There’s going to be a gunplay.” Not one ounce of fear did he show. But he was telling him, “You know, you’re a good man, John. You don’t need to do this.” I don’t know what happened, but he put the gun down and the wife and the baby’s lives were saved. But, of course, there were cameras there. [LAUGHTER] Where … wherever there was a photographer within a mile, you could be sure the lens was pointed at Mychal Judge. [LAUGHTER] In fact, we used to accuse him of paying The Bergen Record’s eporter to follow him around just to … [LAUGHTER]

Another aspect, a lesson that I learned from him, his way of life, is his simplicity. He lived very simply. He didn’t have many clothes. They were always pressed, of course, and clean but he didn’t have much, no clutter in his room, very simple room.

And he would say to me once in a while, “Michael Duffy,” he always called me by my full name, “Michael Duffy, you know what I need?” And I would get excited because it was hard to buy him a present or anything. I said, “No, what?” “You know what I really need?” “No, what Mike?” “Absolutely nothing. [MURMURING] I don’t need a thing in the world. I am the happiest man on the face of the earth.” And then he would go on for ten minutes, telling me how blessed he felt. “I have beautiful sisters. I have nieces and nephews. I have my health. I’m a Franciscan priest. I love my work. I love my ministry.” And he would go on, and he would always conclude it by looking up to heaven and saying, “Why am I so blessed? I don’t deserve it. Why am I so blessed?” But that’s how he felt all his life.

Another characteristic of Mychal Judge, he loved to bless people, and I mean physically. Even if they didn’t ask … [LAUGHTER] A little old lady would come up to him and he’d talk to them, you know, as if they were the only person on the face of the earth. Then, he’d say, “Let me give you a blessing.” He put his big thick Irish hands and pressed her head till I think the poor woman would be crushed, and he’d look up to heaven and he’d ask God to bless her, give her health and give her peace and so forth. A young couple would come up to him and say, “We just found out we’re going to have a baby.” “Oh, that’s wonderful! That’s great!” He’d put his hand on the woman’s stomach, and call to God to bless the unborn child. When I used to take teenagers on bus trips, he would always be around when we left. He’d jump in the bus, lead the teenagers in prayer, and then bless them all for a safe and a happy time, wherever I was taking them. If a family were in crisis, the husband and wife, he would go up to them … and sometimes take both their hands at the same time, and put them right next to his and whisper a blessing that the crisis would be over.

He loved to bring Christ to people. He was the bridge between people and God and he loved to do that. And many times over the past few days, there’s been several people who have come up and said, Fr. Mychal did my wedding, Fr. Mychal baptized my child. Fr. Mychal came to us when we were in crisis. There are so many things that Fr. Mychal Judge did for people. I think there’s not one registry in a rectory in this diocese that doesn’t have his name in it for something, a baptism, a marriage or whatever.

But what you may not know, and I’d like to tell you today because this may console you a little, it really was a two-way street. You people think he did so much for you. But you didn’t see it from our side, we that lived with him. He would come home and be energized and nourished and thrilled and be full of life because of you.

He would come back and say to me, for instance, “I met this young man today. He’s such a good person. He has more faith in his little finger than I do in my own body. Oh, he’s such good people. Oh, they’re so great.” Or, “I baptized a baby today.” And just to see the new life, he’d be enthused and enthused. I want just to let you know, and I think he’d want me to let you know, how much you did for him. You made his life happy. You made him the kind of person that he was for all of us.

It reminds me of that very well known Picasso sketch of two hands holding a bouquet of flowers. You know the one I mean that there’s one bouquet, a small bouquet, it’s colorful and there’s a hand coming from the left side and a hand coming from the right side. Both of them are holding on to the bouquet. But the artist was clever enough to draw the hands in the exact same angle. So, you don’t know who’s receiving and who is giving. And it’s the same way that Mychal related to people. You should know how much you gave to him, and it was that love that he had for people, and that way of relating to him, that led him back to New York City and to become part of the fire department …

He loved his fire department and all the men in it. He’d call me late at night and tell me all the experiences that he had with them, how wonderful they were, how good they were. It was never so obvious that he loved a group of people so much as his New York firefighters. And that’s the way he was when he died.

On Tuesday, one of our friars, Brian Carroll, was walking down Sixth Avenue and actually saw the airplane go overhead at a low altitude. And then a little further, he saw smoke coming from one of the trade towers. He ran into the friary. He ran into Mychal Judge’s room and he says, “Mychal, I think they’re going to need you. I think the World Trade tower is on fire.” Mychal was in his habit. So, he jumped up, took off his habit, got his uniform on, and I have to say this, in case you really think he’s perfect, he did take time to comb and spray his hair. [LAUGHTER]

But just for a second, I’m sure … He ran down the stairs and he got in his car and with some firemen, he went to the World Trade towers … While he was down there, one of the first people he met was the mayor, Mayor Giuliani, and he, the mayor last night, said, Mychal Judge ran by him and he, the mayor, just put his hand on his shoulder and said, “Mychal, please pray for us.” And Mychal turned and with that big Irish smile said, “I always do.” And then kept on running with the firefighters into the building. While he was ministering to dying firemen, administering the Sacrament of the Sick and Last Rites, Mychal Judge died. The firemen scooped him up to get him out of the rubble and carried him out of the building and wouldn’t you know it? There was a photographer there. That picture appeared in The New York Times, The New York Daily News and USA Today on Wednesday, and someone told me last night that People magazine has that same picture in it. I bet he planned it that way. [LAUGHTER]

But you know when you step back and see how my friend Mychal died, I’m sure that when we finish grieving, when all this is over and we can put things in perspective, look how that man died. He was right where the action was, where he always wanted to be. He was praying, because in the ritual for anointing, we’re always saying, Jesus come, Jesus forgive, Jesus save. He was talking to God, and he was helping someone. Can you honestly think of a better way to die? I think it was beautiful.

The firemen took his body and because they respected and loved him so much, they didn’t want to leave it in the street. So, they quickly carried it into a church and not just left it in the vestibule, they went up the center aisle. They put the body in front of the altar. They covered it with a sheet. And on the sheet, they placed his stole and his fire badge. And then they knelt down and they thanked God. And then they rushed back to continue their work.

And so, in my mind … I picture Mychal Judge’s body there in that church in the sanctuary, realizing that the firefighters brought him back to the Father in the Father’s house. And the words that come to me, “I am the Good Shepherd, and the Good Shepherd lays down his life for the sheep ... Greater love than this no man hath than to lay down his life for his friends. And I call you my friends.” …

And so I make this statement to you this morning that Mychal Judge has always been my friend. And now he is also my hero.

Mychal Judge’s body was the first one released from Ground Zero. His death certificate has the number one on the top … and I meditated on that fact of the thousands of people that we are going to find out who perished in that terrible holocaust … Why was Mychal Judge number one? And I think I know the reason. I hope you’ll agree with me. Mychal’s goal and purpose in life at that time was to bring the firemen to the point of death, so they would be ready to meet their maker. There are between two and three hundred firemen buried there, the commissioner told us last night.

Mychal Judge could not have ministered to them all. It was physically impossible in this life but not in the next. And I think that if he were given his choice, he would prefer to have happened what actually happened. He passed through the other side of life, and now he can continue doing what he wanted to do with all his heart. And the next few weeks, we’re going to have names added, name after name of people, who are being brought out of that rubble. And Mychal Judge is going to be on the other side of death … to greet them instead of sending them there. And he’s going to greet them with that big Irish smile … he’s going to take them by the arm and the hand and say, “Welcome, I want to take you to my Father.” … And so, he can continue doing in death what he couldn’t do in life …

And so, this morning … we come to bury Mike Judge’s body but not his spirit. We come to bury his mind but not his dreams. We come to bury his voice but not his message. We come to bury his hands but not his good works. We come to bury his heart but not his love. Never his love.

And so, I think … we his family, friends and those who loved him should return the favor that he so often did to us. All of us have felt his big hands at a blessing that he would give to us. I think right now, it would be so appropriate if we called on what the liturgy tells us we are, a royal priesthood and a holy nation. And we … give Mychal a blessing as he returns to the Father.

So, I’d ask you now could you all please stand. And could you raise your right hand and extend it towards my friend Mychal and repeat after me.

Mychal, may the Lord bless you. May the angels lead you to your Savior. You are a sign of his presence to us. May the Lord now embrace you. And hold you in his love forever. Rest in peace. Amen.

Thank you.

— Fr. Michael Duffy is director of St. Francis Inn in Philadelphia, Pa.

Evangelical and Catholic

2011-09-03T18:56:00.001-07:00

Okay, so most of my students know I am passionate about Jesus, psychology, and my Catholic faith. I love this video, it shows that Catholics have a real evangelical zest for life in a great many diverse ways. Enjoy the show!

Communicate so that Others Understand....

2011-08-28T16:10:00.001-07:00

Sometimes when we say things we forget that others need to hear what we are communicating, not just the words we use. I have often found when working with couples in therapy that they really want to express their love for one another but the words they use and their actions toward one another get in the way. As a marriage therapist, I am often in the place of communication expert. If you are doing therapy, learn to say things many different ways. Watch this video and see how much of a difference words make.

Academic Humility

2011-08-24T19:57:00.000-07:00

Scripture for Today:

. . . Then he said to Thomas, “put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” Thomas answered, “My Lord and my God . . . —John 20:27-28

Reflection:

When most of us think about the virtue of humility we think of someone walking down the sidewalk with their head tilted toward the ground and their eyes gazing upon the tops of their shoes. The humble Christian is the one who speaks gently and seldom raises his or her voice. Perhaps we picture the pacifist who allows someone to strike him in the face accepting the violent action stoically. At some level this is humility, but there is a deeper humility that God calls us to practice which we often never address.

In the scripture passage above Thomas has just been shocked back into the reality that our God is a God of deep mystery. We may think we know things about God and have expectations about how he will perform his divine actions, but this too frequently becomes a type of pride and arrogance forcing us to lose sight of the divine mystery. Yes, God reveals much about who he is and who we are through divine and natural revelation. We are not left in the dark about the God we love, however there still remains a great mystery about him that keeps us humble. Thomas thought he knew who Jesus was and that the death of Jesus was the death of all he experienced. Then, through Thomas’ arrogant prideful protestations, the Lord appeared and asked him to experience a whole new deeper and mysterious Christ. Thomas responds in awe at the mystery of the resurrected Lord and in humility calls out “My Lord and my God.”

Another Thomas in the 13th century had a similar experience to that of his name sake. Thomas Aquinas was said to have been praying and saw the crucified Christ before him. Christ spoke to Thomas asking him what he wanted for all the work he had done. Thomas answered "Non nisi te, Domine" which is Latin for “Only you Lord”. After that experience of God Thomas could not return to his intellectual work. He believed his work to be nothing more than “straw”. The encounter he had with the mystery of God humbled him in a sincere manner drawing him futher into the mystery of Christ.

Questions for Personal Application:

1.How have I allowed my comfort with God become a type of pride? Do I take for granted the mystery that God is in my life?

2.What steps can I take to be firmly grounded in what God has revealed to me but still live in the mystery of his presence? How does love flourish because God remains known and mysterious?

Questions for Group Application:

1.How have those of us who are academics and students of knowledge limited the mysterious experience of God because of our pursuit of things known and understandable?

Prayer:

Lord, so often we are like Thomas the apostle, stuck with arrogance in thinking that we can know you completely and thoroughly as we would any other person in our lives. Teach us the humility that is fostered by entering into your mystery and allow that to keep us in love with who you are. We ask this through Christ our Lord who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God forever and ever, Amen.

“The sufficiency of my merit is to know that my merit is not sufficient.” Augustine of Hippo

“It is good for me, Lord, that Thou hast humbled me, that I may learn Thy righteous judgments, and may cast away all haughtiness of heart and all presumption.” Thomas a Kempis

Human Suffering

2011-04-21T08:49:00.000-07:00

As part of my service to the Church I am the Diocesan Theologian. I was asked to speak recently at a gathering that was discussing end of life issues from a Catholic perspective. Below is a summary of the points I made in regard to human suffering I thought I would share:

When discussing end of life issues, the most important aspect to remember is that the "patient" is a human being. From a Catholic perspective a human being is more than just a blob of biological functions needing maintained, but rather someone created in the image of God deserving dignified care. We consist of a body, mind, and soul. We are not simply an evolved animal but rather we reflect what psalm 8 indicates when it reads that we were created a little lower than the angels.

Because human beings are created in God's image and deserve to be treated with human dignity, suffering has a unique place in the human experience. Suffering is not "evil" in itself. However, it is the experience of evil existing in the world. This evil in the world comes from the fact that since the fall of Adam and Eve, all of creation is disordered and broken. Evil exists because we chose to disobey God, not because God willed it to be so. Only when Christ returns will the work he has begun be completed and that which is disordered will be reordered properly toward a perfect loving existence with God. The suffering we experience is the result of the evil we encounter and the brokenness of the world we live in.

If this were the end of the story it would seem that we are hopelessly destined to suffer the effects of evil with no chance of redemption but we know this is not the case. Suffering has a redeeming quality to it because Christ himself used suffering as a means of conquering the very evil that causes it. So as John Paul II indicated in his Apostolic Letter "Salvifici Delores":

"Christ goes towards his Passion and death with full awareness of the mission that he has to fulfill precisely in this way. Precisely by means of this suffering he must bring it about "that man should not perish, but have eternal life". Precisely by means of his Cross he must strike at the roots of evil, planted in the history of man and in human souls. Precisely by means of his Cross he must accomplish the work of salvation. This work, in the plan of eternal Love, has a redemptive character."

Because of this position by the Church, health care workers must be careful to always see the human condition in light of an eternal existence. The right to death issues all ignore that in a most mysterious way the suffering of an individual has a redeeming characteristic and connects Christians more intimately with Christ. Of course we do not believe in suffering for suffering sake, that would be sadistic. We do however believe that through suffering God can and does commune in a unique way with his people. To make the goal of treatment to eliminate all physical suffering whatever the cost is to ignore the transcendent human experience in all its fullness and reduce it to biological functioning. Surely we want to eliminate suffering as much as possible, but not by speeding the process of death artificially.

From this idea, I addressed the notion that many people believe the Catholic Church has no right to interfere in such intimate areas of our lives. The two areas the Church is most often criticized for speaking about are sexuality and issues of life. I understand the concerns, particularly since a number of men in Church positions have not lived lives congruent with Church teachings themselves. However, we must always remember these men are not the Church herself. The Church is a complex body of many members, and yes, we have had some who have tarnished the message she speaks in regards to life and the gift of human sexuality. However, Catholics should be grateful to have a Church that is willing to speak to these difficult and intimate places of the Christian life. The Church does so not as a tyrant ruler who wants to dictate minute details of human life. She does this because she wants every aspect of the Christian life to be sanctified as an offering to God. For younger people that means their activities in the bedroom, and for the suffering and dying, it is the very transcendent experience of being birthed into the next life. It often helps to remember that the most beautiful personification of the Church is the person of Mary. If you look at the many statues and paintings of Mary she is often found holding the Christ Child and offering him to those admiring the artwork. Even in the most painful depictions, Mary offers us Jesus so that we may develop a relationship with him. The Pieta is one of those touching statues drawing us to Jesus who is in the arms of his weeping mother. The Church, like Mary does this for us constantly. To think that the Church has no place during these intimate moments is to forget that she is simply offering us Jesus so that we may be sanctified and drawn into a life shared with God himself.

Atheistic World View and Christian World view - The Source of Morality

2011-04-14T17:26:00.001-07:00

As many of you know, I am a professor at Regent University. At Regent, we work hard to present our disciplines in a manner that is true to the subject matter just as any secular university would, but we also present our work from a Christian world view. In psychology, many of the arguments reflect the age old discussion of how science and religion relate to one another. In fact, psychology finds itself in an interesting place because psychologists judge the appropriateness of human behavior. What makes one behavior reflective of psychological health over another? Even worse, what makes some behaviors morally correct and others not so morally correct? Why is a psychopath who kills exhibiting morally wrong behavior? We could ask the same questions about sexual behavior. Why is pedophilia morally and psychologically disordered? From a Christian world view one might argue that it is due to the fact that there is an objective moral truth grounded in a just and good God.

If you want to watch a good debate between Dr. Harris, an atheist and Dr. Craig of Notre Dame, a Christian argue these ideas watch the video below. Much thanks to Dr. Beckwith and his great blog Return to Rome for posting this.

Happy Birthday to Me From Olivia

2011-04-03T06:07:00.001-07:00

Okay, so when you turn 45 there are few things you really want for your birthday. However, my daughter Olivia seems to have found a great way to say Happy Birthday using here director skills and a great many young people I don't even know. Watch and enjoy!

Catholics are Losing Mexico

2011-04-03T05:43:00.001-07:00

In my present diocese we have an auxiliary bishop focused on Hispanic ministry. If you look at our diocesan newspaper you find that the back page is completely in Spanish. However, it seems that more and more Latin Americans are leaving the Catholic Church. Mexico is no exception to this trend according to the article below:

"MEXICO CITY – More than 1,000 Mexicans left the Catholic Church every day over the last decade, adding up to some 4 million fallen-away Catholics between 2000 and 2010, sociologist and historian Roberto Blancarte told Efe.

Blancarte, one of the nation’s outstanding specialists on religious subjects, said that one of the main conclusions to be drawn from the 2010 census is that Mexico is no longer a predominantly Catholic country and has become a nation of religious pluralism.

According to figures from the census taken last year, out of a total 112 million Mexicans, 92.9 million are Catholics, 14.1 million belong to Protestant Christian denominations, and a lower number are devotees of Islam, Judaism and various oriental doctrines.

One of the principal novelties is that 5.2 million say they profess no religion – to the question about their religious beliefs, they answered “no religion.”

“It would be a mistake to think that these 5 million are atheists – all it means is that they profess no particular belief but they might well believe in some form of divinity,” Blancarte told Efe.

The specialist from Colegio de Mexico and the National Autonomous University of Mexico, or UNAM, said that the decline has been uninterrupted over the past 60 years.

In 1950, 98.21 percent of Mexicans said they were Catholic, in 1960 the percentage dropped to 96.47 percent, in 1970 to 96.17 percent, in 1980 to 92.62 percent, in 1990 the percentage dropped to 89.69 percent, in 2000 the country was only 88 percent Catholic, and now that percentage is lower still at 83.9 percent."

Read more here

Religious People are Fat

2011-03-24T16:32:00.000-07:00

Well, most of us think that because we are religious people we practice the virtues and offer all that we are to God in a loving sacrifice for all he has done for us, right? Apparently many of those who call themselves religious have more to sacrifice to God because there is more of them. Here is what one study found in regards to religious people and their body size:

"Young, religiously active people are more likely than their non-religious counterparts to become obese in middle age, according to new research. In fact, frequent religious involvement appears to almost double the risk of obesity compared with little or no involvement."

If you like, you can go here to check out the study. (Thanks again to the Deacon's Bench for this)

Thomas Merton and Ash Wed

2011-03-09T17:13:00.000-08:00

I stole this from one of my favorite bloggers at the Deacon's Bench. He always finds the best stuff!!!!

“Ash Wednesday is for people who know that it means for their soul to be logged with these icy waters: all of us are such people, if only we can realize it.

There is confidence everywhere in Ash Wednesday, yet that does not mean unmixed and untroubled security. The confidence of the Christian is always a confidence in spite of darkness and risk, in the presence of peril, with every evidence of possible disaster…

Once again, Lent is not just a time for squaring conscious accounts: but for realizing what we had perhaps not seen before. The light of Lent is given us to help us with this realization.

Nevertheless, the liturgy of Ash Wednesday is not focussed on the sinfulness of the penitent but on the mercy of God. The question of sinfulness is raised precisely because this is a day of mercy, and the just do not need a savior.”

– Thomas Merton

When you Say Goodbye to your Church

2011-02-25T08:45:00.001-08:00

I wrote an article in the summer of 2009 regarding the closing of some parishes in my previous diocese. Unfortuneately this continues to be a problem for Catholics in many parts of the country, particularly the North East. The article appeared in a now defunct magazine called Church Magazine by the National Pastoral Life Center. A friend of mine asked me to talk to a group of people who were going through the loss of their parish and I was reminded of how this article may still provide some solace and help for those who minister to people in this predicament. So, for anyone who would like to benefit from my thoughts, here it is:

When You Say Good-Bye to Your Parish

A parish closing may require parishioners to pass through stages of grief. Understanding them can help pastoral leaders with the transition. Living in a small town in western Pennsylvania has some wonderful benefits. There’s a rich history of a middle-class work ethic and a set of values reflective of its long history of immigrant workers. We also tend to be a community focused and ready to help our neighbor shovel snow or cut the grass whenever the need arises. When my wife had our second child, the neighbors were wonderful. Balloons were posted on our mailbox with wishes of good will and welcome for our daughter Hannah. However, there is a reality we live with as Catholics in this part of the world that can be painful. Our numbers for both priests and parishioners are shrinking rapidly. Because of that, my bishop and those who help him govern the diocese have had to make some hard decisions. One of those decisions included closing parishes, a decision that was difficult for the leadership to make and for people to accept, but a task that had to be done.

I know we are not unique in this regard. Because of the decline in priests, parishes are being consolidated and closed so the needs of Catholics can be met more efficiently. Most Catholics know in their hearts that to provide for the common good, we must accept these hard realities as part of the cross we bear as Catholics in the 21st century. But it still hurts. It still feels as though someone we love died and left us alone. How do we come to terms with such a difficult reality? I have been a counseling psychologist and a pastoral associate for some time. One thing I understand because of my background is that people can overcome their grief. It takes time and sometimes requires professional interventions, but it can be done by the grace of God. It is my hope that this article will provide some insight for pastoral ministers charged with helping individuals who experience this unique style of grief.

Psychologists have generally agreed that grieving individuals go through four elemental phases. These phases are not limited to dealing with the loss of a loved one; they can be experienced within the context of any emotionally attached loss. That includes parishioners mourning the loss of their parish. People become emotionally attached to their parish because of the many life milestones celebrated there. Some people were baptized, received their first holy Communion, and were confirmed at the parish being closed. They were married there and watched their children grow in faith within the walls of that particular church building. When it goes away, the emotions can be traumatic. Like someone who loses a loved one, they experience the stages of grief. It is important that those charged with their pastoral care help them successfully negotiate these phases and move forward, continuing their walk with Christ.

ACCEPTANCE

The first phase of successfully working through grief requires the individual to accept the loss. Often, people walk around with the idea that the loss is temporary, that one day the parish will reopen, that somehow God will change the situation and things will be as they have been before. This is a coping mechanism for some, but it can become a problem. Time is really the only way this phase works itself out. Intellectually, people can accept that it’s over, but emotionally, the bonds remain. Every Sunday when they drive to another parish for Mass, there is a part of them thinking that perhaps next week will be different. There are ways to help individuals accept the loss. This is where proper pastoral ministry can be helpful.

When a person dies, it is helpful to use traditional rituals such as a funeral Mass, a burial service, and other symbolic means for saying good-bye. This can also be helpful for parishioners of a closed parish. A farewell Mass including the symbolic removal of the parish crucifix, statues, and other important items from the sanctuary is significant in helping the parishioners accept the loss as real. Relocating these items to another location for a period of prayer helps people mourn the loss as well and shows pastoral concern. I recall one parishioner of a closed parish in my diocese telling the story of the last Mass at his parish. The priest asked all the parishioners to come forward and venerate the altar before he made his final veneration at the end of Mass. The procession forward and then out of the church was touching for all the members there. It was described as a very somber and moving moment that gave all those present a chance to say good-bye to something they loved. These rituals are imperative for this first phase of grief.

GETTING THROUGH, NOT OVER

The next phase of grief is working though the pain. At times this pain can include physical symptoms, but more often it involves emotional ache. Not everyone experiences the same intensity of pain, but there is emotional discomfort involved in any loss. Anything that blocks or limits the pain can interfere with the required steps to overcome it. Too often individuals grieving the closure of a parish are seen as having something wrong with them. Individuals tasked with helping them become impatient and want them to “just get over it.” The truth is they need to get through it, not over it, and to do so requires them to patiently experience the pain of the loss. In this phase all a pastoral minister can do is be present and be patient with those they care for.

The third phase individuals experience involves adjusting to an environment in which the loss exists. With the loss of a person, this means living in a home where the loved one slept, ate, and watched television. With a parish, it means knowing your next Christmas is going to be somewhere that does not feel like home right now, that adoration of the Eucharist is in a chapel you have not frequented, and that you will most likely be going to confession with a priest you don’t know well in a church you still are not sure about.

These are the external environmental changes, but there are internal changes as well. Most specifically, your sense of who you are changes to some degree. You are no longer a parishioner of Saint Albert’s, now you belong to Blessed Sacrament Cathedral. Your social relationships are reconfigured. There are spiritual elements involved too: individuals ask themselves the question, “Why and how could God let this happen to his church?” There is a long history of these types of lamentations; our Jewish predecessors went through this with every exile they experienced. One can gain great solace from reading about their longings and sufferings in the Scriptures as part of this phase of grief. Ultimately this phase is the turning point for individuals. Acceptance assists them through the pain and now life begins to take on a different look. Gradually, they become accustomed to life in a new parish and the new roles and relationships they forge start to become normalized. This allows the last phase of grief to work itself out.

MOVING ON

Last, and most important, people will emotionally relocate the loss and move on with life. People are often afraid of this phase because if it is approached too early they believe they have betrayed their previous loyalties. Parishioners in this phase have come to a point where they can memorialize the past in a special way. I have seen this done exceptionally well by some parishes. One parish made plans so that after its closing certain items from the church were moved into the new parish. These items held a prominent place in the new parish, thus memorializing the closed parish’s history. Another way to do this is to provide the parishioners of the closing parish with a memorial book showing its history, its different ministries, and photos demonstrating the unique charisms of the parish.

These phases are important for individuals to experience so they can move on and live a full Catholic life at a time when the loss of one home seems to be the end of the Catholic Church itself. People charged with the pastoral care of others can play a strong role in assisting in the healing process. The decision to close particular parishes is not made easily, and the healing required to move through this process is not easy and takes time. Accepting the loss, allowing the pain to be experienced, adjusting to a new environment, and memorializing the past are necessary steps for individuals grieving the loss of their parish. These are difficult times in many ways for Catholics, but we are blessed with the promise of Christ himself in knowing that the church will be with us through the end of time, and ultimately that church is the body of Christ himself found in word, sacrament, and believers no matter where they assemble.

Evengelical at a Catholic Mass

2011-02-08T16:51:00.000-08:00

As many of you know who read my BLOG, I am a Roman Catholic who teaches at an Evangelical Protestant University. I teach Psychology but I have a Masters degree in theology as well and Regent is a great place for me since it expects me to be able to articulate Christian principles that are foundational to the understanding of human nature from a psychological perspective. In addition to my role as a psychology professor, I am the ecumenical officer for the Diocese of Richmond. This means I am responsible for the ecumenical relationships that Roman Catholics have with the other Christian churches connected to our diocese. Anyway, while at one of my favorite BLOGS I read a great article that demonstrated how evangelical Christians can find something special about the Catholic Mass. I have copied it here below for you to enjoy:

"Roman Catholic mass can be a stolid exercise, perhaps even more so during Midday Mass at Conception Abbey in rural Nodaway County, Missouri. Walking up the steps of the basilica I'm braced by the cold -- there's a foot of snow on the ground and the wind is whipping. I enter the building through great wooden doors to the sanctuary. Cast in subdued light, I'm hit with the warmth of the room. The smell of incense is immediate; the sacred space a menagerie of images. Built in 1883, the abbey church is a basilica, a status granted only to churches of major importance in the regional life of Catholicism. There are paintings on every surface, and statues or columns in every sight-line. The Beuronese murals which line the top of each wall tell the story of God. Dipping my fingers in the basin at the back of the church, I cross myself and bow to the altar. There are several dozen people already seated, scattered about. While the organist quietly plays a prelude we kneel and pray, awaiting the procession. As I look around the room, I'm reminded that this place was once the scene of terrible violence. In 2002 a man named Lloyd Robert Jeffress entered carrying a pair of rifles and began shooting people. He walked through the halls of the monastery killing two and wounding others, then returned to the basilica and killed himself. The next day the bells of the abbey sounded once for every year the two slain monks were a part of the order -- a total of eighty-three times -- today they ring us back to mass and to sing the psalms throughout the day. That these peaceful monks suffered such heartache yet remain vulnerably open to visitors is not only a testament to their hospitality but also their commitment to the rule of St. Benedict, "Let all guests who arrive be received like Christ." I have much to learn from them. The mass begins. The liturgy of the word includes several call-and-response sections which I pretend to know, but no one would notice if I remained silent. One of the younger monks reads from the lectern. It is the same monk who read at morning prayers -- his turn I suppose -- Old Testament, New Testament, and the Gospel for which we all stand. The priest reads the passage, and then we sit to listen to the Homily delivered peacefully. When he is finished we sit in silence for a long time. Contemplation is assumed. The basilica is capacious, but so is the liturgy; room to think, room to pray, room to simply be. Every cough, sneeze or rattle reverberates throughout this place. Sounds live longer lives in a room like this, fading slowly. We sit and await the next moment, awaiting our Lord, awaiting ourselves. Our posture is one of hands open, receiving this mass not generating it. A restless person would find this off-putting, but nobody here checks their watch. The priest breaks the silence for the prayers of the people. As we move toward the Eucharist, we begin with rites of community. We recite the Lord's Prayer and pass the peace and I'm reminded that one cannot receive the sacrament unless they first receive their neighbor. I walk the ten or twelve feet to close the gap between me and my fellow congregants. It must be done with intentionality and purpose. The monks who are ordained as priests join the celebrant on the altar and offer this Eucharist together. They raise their hands in concert, like reverent choreography. It is at this point in the mass that always I feel the most like an outsider, an eavesdropper. As a Protestant I am not permitted to receive the sacrament. I think of the injury which separates us and feel only sadness for the schism that keeps me kneeling in my place. Five-hundred years of Protestants blaming Catholics while we ourselves split into a million denominations; enough inhospitality to go around I guess. Us, them, we, sing a song and watch the priest prepare the altar. He washes his hands, not just for himself but for all of us. We pray together over the gifts. The climax of the mass is here. The bells are silent as the priest prays his epiclesis. I like the bells at this point, and although they hang by the stalls of the monks, I've never heard them ring at the abbey. I love when the priest holds the bread high above his head and breaks it in half. "Let your Spirit come upon these gifts to make them holy." The consecrated host and wine are offered first to the priests, then the monks, then the congregation. I kneel and pray, "Take and eat; this is My Body." Someday we will all share this moment together in solidarity. When the host has been received and the altar made tidy, we all sit in silence once again. Mass in the city never contains this much tranquility and expectation. A prayer and a blessing, then we are dismissed. I kneel once toward the tabernacle on my way to the back of the church. I spin and bow to the altar in dipping my fingers in the basin to cross myself. I'm out the door into the cold again." - Tim Suttle Pastor, Author, Musician, Speaker from the Huffington Post

Christians and Muslims

2011-02-05T03:58:00.000-08:00

I was looking through some of my favorite blogs and I found this picture. It shows Christians protecting Muslims in Egypt while they perform one of their many rounds of prayers. Of course they are doing this because of the tension in the country between pro government and anti government groups attacking one another. There is a strong message this picture delivers and that is the idea that love can overcome all divisions. Hopefully Christians can be the driving force of such a message. It seems these Christian Egyptians have started to preach the Gospel in their own way. The article from which the picture is taken can be found here:

http://blog.trentgilliss.com/post/3086459985

My Apologies

2011-02-03T06:26:00.000-08:00

Okay everyone (at least the few of you who read this) I want to apologize for not keeping up with this blog. I have had some major work to do in a number of areas but I am committed to starting up this project again. I will begin posting this week so if you are inclined to read my ramblings, I will be sharing again soon!

Peace,

Dr. Hankle

Christian Scholarship - Part 1

2010-10-23T18:31:00.000-07:00

I want to ponder the development of Christian scholarship from a spiritual perspective; particularly the spiritual development of a Christian Scholar. To be Christian and a scholar is more than attending a Christian university. In fact, some of you may continue your studies after you leave a university not founded on Christian principles. Does that mean you’re no longer a Christian scholar? Christian scholarship is more than being able to quote scripture versus that match particular discipline content. That is indeed helpful, but just because Satan quoted sacred scripture in Luke chapter 4 does not make him a holy angel. Being a Christian scholar is about what we become, not only what we do. It is an ontological characteristic carrying us through our journey in life. The purpose of this series of posts is not to dictate a “to do list” for you to develop a particular spirituality. These posts are not an authoritative instruction regarding your spiritual development nor are they a devotional of sorts. My hope is I can present one traveler’s experiences with another traveling a similar path. I have been struggling with what it means to be someone in love with learning and in love with Christ for 15 years. My journey has taken me from a business and consulting professional, through a seminary degree and work in pastoral ministry. I have worked as a counseling psychotherapist and now as an assistant professor. Like most of you, life has challenged me to weep as well as allow me to experience a fore taste of the joys of heaven. I want this column to be a means for sharing what I have learned so that you may ponder how my experiences can illuminate your journey. Like Virgil who guides Dante through the divine comedy, these little bits can be your guide and mentor as you develop into Christian scholars. There will be six reflections on Christian scholarly spirituality I will share over the coming weeks. Again, these are not doctrines, but rather personal experiences I have wrestled with and attempted to resolve. We all come from different Christian traditions and have different experiences of those traditions so I am not so arrogant as to believe I have “THE” answer. However, I do have “an” answer, and perhaps you will benefit from my thoughts.

Over the course of my studies I have recognized the importance of a number of “virtues” driving my Christian Scholarship. Perhaps these are not virtues in the strictest sense, but I think they are at least virtuous. I am also aware this is not a complete or stagnant list and it continues to change and grow. Scholarship is a life long journey; it does not end with a degree. For our purposes these virtues are Humility, Recollection, Simplicity, Love, Hospitality, Temperance, and Prudence. All of these find their root in Christ. As Christian Scholars, everything we do must find its roots in Christ. So, it is in his name I begin sharing with you today thoughts regarding Prudence.

One of the things I enjoy most at Regent, the university I teach for, is reflecting on what the name means. As you may know a Regent is one who stands in the place of the King particularly in the context of an important task. We are Regents in the very present place God has placed us. We are Regents for Jesus Christ making a difference wherever we stand. If we tend the garden God has given us we serve God well. To be able to tend the garden as Christ requires prudent consideration of what we do, say, and become. Prudence is a virtue requiring careful thought, prayer, and discernment. In a world of impulsivity, prudence seems slow and out of touch. We want to answer quickly when someone asks a question, but that is not what prudence requires. Prudence requires discipline and discipline implies discipleship and that reminds us of whom we are disciples of.

What is prudence really? One might say that prudence is an intellectual habit. Unlike other virtues, prudence is an exercise of the intellect helping us discern what might be a proper virtuous choice and what may not be wise to conclude. Prudence lights the path to the other virtuous and subsequent actions. Good scholarship requires prudence because prudence keeps scholarship aimed at its proper end, to know, love and serve God. To develop this virtue we must inform our intellect for its proper exercise. How do we do that? By learning and meditating on Christian truths. These truths are authoritatively found in scripture, and can be learned through reflection on the breadth and depth of the Christian experience over the past 2000 years. We should stretch ourselves outside denominational lines yet still be well rooted in our individual traditions because of the value each voice brings to the Christian experience. By informing your intellect with these Christian truths one provides the mind with illumination beyond pure physical truths and into metaphysical reality that scholarship must continue to have as part of its work. Another task for developing prudence is forming yourself in your particular discipline well. You go to college to study “something” so diligent effort at acquiring that knowledge is instrumental in being good at what you do. You cannot sacrifice content knowledge if you want to succeed in your discipline. This is the “scholar” part of Christian scholarship.

If we want to exercise our studies well, in the light of faith, and in a manner that reflects good character and thoughtful action, we must be people of prudence. Prudence tells us how best to use our knowledge for the Glory of God and for the betterment of humanity. It is my hope that you will continue to reflect on how developing prudence is important for your Christian scholarship and spirituality. Remember that Proverbs 8:2 tells us “I, wisdom, dwell together with prudence; I possess knowledge and discretion.” To be the friend of Prudence is to be friends with wisdom, the gift of the spirit all Christian Scholars seek for their whole life.

Holy Bride Holy Groom

2010-09-03T16:47:00.001-07:00

I saw father coming to the front of the church, vested in a multicolored robe. He was smiling a little at the other servers and ministers as they were taking there place in preparation for the procession. You could see in his face he was amused with the new young Altar servers who were a little bit nervous at serving their first Mass. He leaned over and gave one of them a pep talk because the young man smiled and stood with his hands folded just as if he were an angel from heaven attending to Christ himself. Father then indiscreetly nodded at the cantor to begin the processional song.

As the beautiful cross started its movement to the altar, all the people in the church stood up. Some stood right away, some struggled to their feet either because of age, lack of sleep, or because their minds were still lost in the prayer they were reciting when they entered the building. After the cross bearer began the procession the two inexperienced yet impeccably trained Altar servers began their march. Father came last, walking the same path he has walked day after day, week after week, and year after year. Although this path always ends in the same place I can't help but wonder how many different encounters and distractions this man has experienced on his journey through the priesthood. He strode perfectly, as usual, singing with all the other people at Mass. Perhaps some of the people he sings with are friends, others are probably not so fond of him, but mostly it was a room full of souls for which he was responsible. What a weight to carry for some, yet father bore it well. I can only guess he hears the words of Christ reminding him "my yoke is easy".

This procession to the Altar started long ago. Perhaps it started when he was a young man. Seeing the priest at his home parish he thought he might want to be like him. Perhaps it happened when he was studying for another profession, maybe an accountant, yet he could not ignore God's call. Father somewhere along the line was no longer asked to just offer the sacrifices a Christian life requires; he was called to be a sacramental sign of that offering. His life was transformed to be Christ present, offering and being offered, for the salvation of souls and the sanctification of humanity.

Father got to the altar, walked up and kissed it taking his place just to its left. I can't help but think how this simple human being brings such a gift of holiness to our worship space. He is the one who stands as Christ and kisses his bride on the lips as a husband would kiss his wife of twenty-five years. He kisses the Altar, the very lips of the Church who is the bride of Christ. From these lips will flow the ultimate sign of love that only a bride can give. This Altar will give birth to the very body and blood of Jesus. Much like a women who struggles in child birth bringing forth life from the blood and water that leaves her, so too will this bride bring forth our eternal life in Eucharist. This bride gives birth through the blood of Christ in our Eucharistic celebration and the waters of baptism. This is the bride that is kissed by the man who makes Christ present at this humble celebration of love, sacrifice, and thanks. Father then prays the opening prayer. I can't help but admire how he says these words with great attention. How many times he must have said these or similar words over and over again, yet somehow they remain fresh in his spirit and _expression.

Yes some would say that father is just another minister and what we do here is no different than what is done at other Christian gatherings. However, we know the truth. Father is a man, yes, but more than that. Father is a sacramental symbol of the great bridegroom Jesus Christ who comes in procession to love his bride the Church. We are the loving children of this holy union. We are the children born from that first kiss. What we have in our priests is such a gift. Thank you father for taking that walk Sunday after Sunday, day after day. I hope the long walk you take to claim your bride never becomes a burden but always lifts you higher, and keeps that warm smile glowing in holiness. I pray we never become the spoiled children born of the flesh but rather a grateful family of worshipers led by your prayerful voice. Mostly father, I will always continue to pray for you and those who follow in your footsteps, so that mother Church will always be presented with the sacramental sign of Christ the bridegroom. In this way we will forever be celebrating the wedding feast of heaven.

Marriage as a Christian Vocation

2010-09-03T16:44:00.000-07:00

One of the greatest things about being a Catholic Marriage counselor is that I can draw on a rich history of marriage as a sacred spiritual calling. Marriage is more than an agreement or contract; it’s a covenant and vocation. It concerns me some Catholics have lost the sense of vocation in marriage. In many of the Catholic couples I’ve counseled this sense of discerning a vocation seems to have been absent in their preparation for the sacrament.

There are a number of options a Christian has for living their lives in service to God. Some are called to religious life, some to ordination, and many to be married. What does it mean to have marriage as a vocation? Romantic visions of two people spending life together in happiness often are pushed aside the first time couples have to negotiate where they will spend Christmas, who will be their child’s godparent, and how to spend their extra money. So what is marriage about if it is not about having someone to have fun with? It’s about joyous sacrifice. I know, it doesn’t sound like anything anyone would desire, but it’s the essential element that creates a vocation out of what too often is seen as a negotiable partnership.

John Paul the II reminded families in his Letter to Families that “When the Church asks ‘Are you willing?’ she is reminding the bride and groom that they stand before the creative power of God.” This creative power transforms the individuals to become one in will, intent, and love. To do so requires each couple to sacrifice some of their individual selves so that a new “couple self” can be made. Sometimes that requires suffering. To suffer with someone is to know the deep connection one soul shares with another. One partner may suffer an illness, the other suffers with them. One may require more attention and time together; the other needs to meet that need selflessly. Likewise, one partner may need some time away so the other needs to patiently bear a sense of isolation allowing the couple to flourish later. Joyous sacrifice in marriage requires discernment. Marriages give witness to the Christian virtues of selflessness and sacrifice with a joyful heart. Even the children God blesses couples with are not theirs, but God’s, and are entrusted to them for only a short time. Ultimately, even the very thing couples become vanishes as one partner must selflessly allow the other to go home to be with God. Marriage is about letting go of one’s own wishes joyfully so the creative power of God can make something new of what is left.

This sounds like such a harsh and difficult vocation, but joy is evident in the selfless love found in marriage. Why? Because the grace God provides in the sacrament is more powerful than the sacrifice. Without the Grace of God no one would want this life. Just as no one would want to live as a single man charged with a large parish and more work than any one person could handle, no one wants to think about giving up their needs for another’s. Marriage is a calling many people sitting in my office have forgotten. I urge many young couples to think about the implications of their vocational choice, both what is pleasing and sacrificial. They must be open to the grace required to love each other when it appears impossible, to give up careers for the benefit of family, to be prepared to be alone, and to be open to the love and grace flowing from these sacrifices. Marriage is a profound gift from God and an admirable vocation, thus it deserves the serious discernment any vocation requires. In this way many couples will be open to the transforming power the sacrament provides and hopefully avoid an office like mine.

Therapeutic Virtues

2010-05-02T20:02:00.001-07:00

Faith, hope, and charity. What does this have to do with counseling? I have found that many of the people who come to see me are actually searching for these very things. They are seeking faith in something that can help them get through the problems they face. Faith is that very part of our selves that says “There is more to who I am and my situation than the problems I am dealing with.” Faith allows you to bypass the distorted reasoning that has you trapped. In our world today we have made reason its own God but when you reason yourself into depression you need faith to go beyond its limits. Hope is a belief in a future different than what you are dealing with in the present. Faith allows you to believe that there is more to your situation than your problems; hope is the motivation that drives our clients to press on through what appears to be an impossible situation. Faith allows us to see what cannot be seen, hope motivates us to do so. Lastly there is love. I have found that as silly as it may seem, the very first thing any client needs to know is that love is possible. They are worthy of love regardless of their condition, and they are able to give it to others. Faith, hope and love, the great theological virtues. If we can help our clients find these regardless of our approach and style, we are well on the way of creating healthy people.

The Holy Spirit and the Life of the Mind

2010-04-22T05:45:00.000-07:00

Thomas Dubay, a relatively popular writer in Catholic spirituality and spiritual direction wrote in his book Authenticity, “As the academic world of ideas has lived its life through the centuries, its progress has been flawed far more frequently by negations than by affirmations. Most of what we affirm is correct. When we go astray, the problem is usually found in what we do not affirm.” Considering my role as an educator, this comment strikes at the heart of my function at Regent University because students do not need a professor who simply repeats what text books, videos, and multimedia already tell them. Often these materials relay specific details better than I can in a lecture. What they need is a professor who helps them affirm that which is often not affirmed. I take the material we are covering in the course and I make connections to other material not explicitly presented or elaborated upon in the text. There must be a fresh creative effort in teaching that models for the student how an individual can take one subject and connect it to another. There needs to be an open forum for going where no other mind dares to go. Sure, we need to follow some constraints but knowledge must also have its free space. That is what happens in a classroom open to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. One example that comes to mind is when I teach physiological psychology. In that course we must contend with the fact that the material itself almost denies the existence of the soul. For Christians, the soul is an important element of being human. Yet much of what physiological psychology presents is a body that is self directing and composed of conditioned responses to biological promptings. Is that all we are? Shouldn’t we address the other ideas that philosophers such as Plato, Aristotle, Thomas Aquinas, and Augustine have to say about life, body, soul? I think so, and that is where the Holy Spirit leads me as a professor. The Holy Spirit takes me to those places of knowledge that must affirm what is often not affirmed. It enlightens me and my students by dancing before us and using the same creative power executed over the waters of creation so that we can develop creative ideas about the subject of psychology.

I have been formed by two specific things in my life with Christ. First, I am a Roman Catholic. My particular Christian tradition has often seen the Holy Spirit’s work as a means of elevating the human mind to places it cannot go by its own effort. Just as Catholics believe that Grace builds upon nature so do we believe that Faith builds upon reason. Neither eliminates the other but they both exist as the Holy Spirit leads a person to be transformed in Christ. Through human reason the Holy Spirit leads an individual to the gift of wonder. Wonder, though not specifically a gift of the Holy Spirit proper is indeed a gift that emanates from the presence of the Holy Spirit in the contemplation of knowledge. This wonder is the great teacher for those committed to learning at a university. Wonder allows us to look deeper into who we are as human beings living in a world surrounded by God’s presence and creation. By becoming more human and understanding our humanity more properly we are able to know God more deeply for we are a reflection of his very being. John Paul II wrote this about wonder. “These fundamental elements of knowledge spring from the wonder awakened in them (human beings) by the contemplation of creation: human beings are astonished to discover themselves as part of the world, in a relationship with others like them, all sharing a common destiny. Here begins, then, the journey which will lead them to discover ever new frontiers of knowledge. Without wonder, men and women would lapse into deadening routine and little by little would become incapable of a life which is genuinely personal.” The Holy spirit is present in my classroom allowing the creative process to produce new knowledge in my students and in my work as well as to keep all of us in a state of wonder at the world we experience so that what John Paul II warns us in the above passage will not happen. We can never lose our sense of humanness or we shall lose a sense of the divine, because it is our wonder at who we are that leads us to experience who God is. The role of an instructor is to make sure this happens.

The second most dominant formatting factor in my life; a life in the Holy Spirit, is my connection to Benedictine spirituality. I was educated at a Benedictine seminary and I am a member of a group who attempts to live their life outside of the monastery through the exercise of some monastic practices such as prayerful reading of the scriptures (lectio divina) and daily prayer done with the psalms at specific times of the day (Liturgy of the hours). These practices routinely keep me aware of the presence of God with a sense of expectation and freshness provided by the Holy Spirit. Most importantly I learned from my Benedictine friends that the experience of God is most noticed within the context of a community experience. A university is indeed a fantastic place to encounter the Holy Spirit. To find Christ in one’s brother (or sister), a very Benedictine idea found in the rule of St Benedict, can only come from a submission of one’s will to the movement of the Holy Spirit. This is what community teaches us. This is a powerful lesson I bring into the classroom. We allow the Holy Spirit to draw us together communally to experience the knowledge He imparts in our studies.

Perhaps what is most evident in my short testimony here of the Holy Spirit’s role in the development of the mind from my Christian tradition is that what is most present to us physically becomes a conduit for an experience of God himself. Richard Foster’s book “Streams of living Water” captures nicely my experience of Regent University. In that book he discusses the beauty of the many ways Christians come to experience and express their love affair with the Divine. One of these streams is called the Incarnational stream and I believe it describes my experience of the Holy Spirit’s work in developing the minds of God’s people most accurately. Foster describes this broad sacramental experience in the following way:
“The Incarnational Stream of Christian life and faith focuses upon making present and visible the realm of the invisible spirit. This sacramental way of living addresses the crying need to experience God as truly manifest and notoriously active in daily life.”

My role at Regent is not primarily to convey information, to teach skills for employment, or to develop a research dossier that will impress my fellow academics. I am here to be a means to greater things for greater people. I hold dearly the psalm that was inscribed in Latin above the Benedictine monastery where I studied many years ago. “Venite filii audite me timorem Domini docebo vos.” Come my children, listen to me and I will teach you the fear of the Lord (Psalm 34). There is no more humbling task than to be commissioned to stand in the presence of the Holy Spirit to teach a proper fear of the Lord which leads another to find great wonder in the ordinary so that they can experience the heights of Grace in the Divine.

References

Doyle, Leonard (1935). St Benedict’s Rule for Monasteries. Collegeville MN: The Liturgical Press

Dubay, T. (1997). Authenticity, a biblical theology of discernment. San Francisco: Ignatius

Foster, Richard. (2001). Streams of Living Water. New York: Harper Collins

John Paull II. (1998). Fides et Ratio: On the relationship between faith and reason. Boston MA: Pauline books and media.

Being Optimistic, the Great Therapeutic Attitude

2010-04-14T17:43:00.000-07:00

So many times we think of optimists as those people who can just get on your nerves. We are annoyed by the constant “it will be okay” comments that ooze from their mouths. However, there is a great lesson to learn from these individuals. First, by being optimistic, we do not let go of the virtue of hope. Therapeutic success depends on having hope, even when things appear hopeless. It is when hope is lost that therapy becomes most difficult and it is our job as therapists to assist our clients in recovering that virtue.

Optimism also creates a posture of solutions. It allows us to utilize the creative elements of our being. Human beings create and solve; it is what we do and have always done. When this creative energy is harnessed, we can overcome many of the difficulties we face. Often, my clients tell me they don’t “feel” like they can do such and such; that they “feel” like no matter what they try it does not work. I usually comment to them that “I don’t care how you feel, what can you do!” Of course, this sounds harsh but the point I make is that we do not solve our problems or become healed by being paralyzed by how we feel. We have the capacity to choose, and to make choices which will then change our life situations. Only when our life situation changes are we able to “feel” different.

So, my advice is to try optimism, it does work.

The Book of Job, is it just about suffering?

2010-04-14T17:38:00.000-07:00

As part of my studies at St. Vincent Seminary many years ago, I took a course on the Book of Job. As part of my spiritual reflection, this book always seemed to bother me because it appears as if God has no interest in Job’s real pain and allows Satan to inflict him at will just to win a wager (You have to be familiar with the book to know exactly what I am getting at). In the book, Job is called a righteous and good man. Satan says to God, he is only faithful and good because you protect him and he has prospered in life. Let me have a try at him, and I bet he curses you and sins. God says to Satan, do what you want, but don’t kill him. Job loses all his possessions, his children are killed and he is left sitting on a dung heap with some skin disease while being tormented by his friends who insist he is in this mess because he must have sinned and offended God!! Job knows he is innocent and he is not aware that this is a type of test in which Satan is waiting for him to sin and curse God. What a terrible position to find yourself in.

Many commentators have indicated that in this book we discover the very mystery of suffering. It asks the question, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” I suggest the other lesson learned from Job is a lesson of love. Regardless of the affliction Job endures, he continues to find reasons to love God, to adore God, and to give him praise. He cannot understand why God continues to inflict harm on him; and he does believe the evil he undergoes is in some way from God, yet he persists in his love for God. He becomes angry and frustrated, yet he continues to love God. God finally appears to Job. If you think God gives Job an answer for his pain, you are mistaken. God simply appears and reminds Job that in the relationship they share as creator and creation, Job must be content with knowing that God’s ways are a mystery to mortals. God’s presence before Job transforms Job and he is able to endure and accept his present condition. Just as Job accepts his condition, God again blesses Job for his persistence in love. The reward of love came when love proved selfless.

Love requires such great surrender and intense selflessness. Our first relationship is with God. When we can love God because he is God and not some divine granter of favors, then all our other relationships can reflect true love. Job loved God because of who God was, not what he got from the relationship. Satan was proven wrong. We need to imitate that perfect love. We must love God for who he is and let his presence transform us. And from this lesson of love, we need to learn to love others in our life with the same selflessness. We do not love for what it gets us. St. Francis reminds us, “where there is hatred, let us sow love… grant that I may not so much be loved, but to love.”

When is Counseling Over

2010-04-14T17:36:00.000-07:00

Therapy is an interesting profession. For the most part, it is the type of work where the individual hopes that at some point, the very source of his or her income will go away. What I mean is that for every client I get, it is my deepest desire that in a very quick way, they will not need to come and see me again. Now, I do believe there are certain afflictions requiring a more consistent and long term form of counseling; however for the most part, people do not really need to have an extended amount of therapy.

Anyone who has been to my office will tell you I make it very clear that therapy will be over in an appropriate amount of time because of two conditions. The first condition is because therapy is not progressing and the sessions have become a place for the individual to simply talk about the day, the week, their problems, and how these problems have plagued them for decades. If therapy is going nowhere and there is no transformation or change occurring with the client, than working with a psychotherapist is not the answer to their problems. Perhaps they need more of a social life, friends, or just someone to talk with. Sometimes the therapist plays the role of this support system; however, the focus of the therapy should become helping the client create this type of relationship in other areas of their life.
The second general criteria I look for is whether or not the client has moved from a position of powerlessness and to one of empowerment. I’ve often challenged my clients by saying “When do you believe you will no longer be a victim of your life circumstances and begin to be the architect of your life.

Of course, it takes some time before our relationship is at the point where this question is effective; however, I have great confidence in the human spirit. I believe when one makes that transition from victim to architect, they begin to cope, make changes, and be in control of their life.

Victor Frankl provided us with a wonderful account of the human will and its ability to take charge of the worst of situations in his book “Man’s Search for Meaning.” He describes how he and the other survivors of the Nazi death camps were able to find a way to become the master of their situation by searching for meaning and controlling their attitude toward their situation. We all can learn from his work.
Therapy for most of us is to help us progress. When it becomes the “pill” to mask the symptom, it is time for something else.

How Marriage Counseling can Work

2010-04-14T17:34:00.000-07:00

Marriage counseling often gets a bad name because many of the couples coming for counseling are already beyond the “Point of no return.” One of my favorite psychiatrists, Dr. William Glasser follows a specific outline for his first session with couples seeking counseling and I think it provides a really good “litmus test” concerning how well counseling can proceed and the value it offers a couple in distress. Here are his 5 questions that a couple must answer sufficiently before he proceeds past the first session:

He first asks them if they are seeing him to help their marriage or is counseling a prelude to a divorce. Obviously this is important because if they are simply there as a prelude to divorce, counseling will not work. Of course they could lie to the therapist, but you have to assume they are spending good money because they want help.

The second question he asks them is whose behavior can each of them control. Anyone familiar with Glasser’s Choice Theory knows that he is a great advocate for personal responsibility in behaviors and that to blame how we act on others, or to believe we can make others act a certain way, is actually an illusion we all live under. Ultimately each partner in the relationship must admit that they can only control their own behaviors and that how they react to each other is their own choice. Additionally, all attempts to make the other individual behave a certain way is pure illusion. Glasser wants each person to admit the only one they can control is themselves.

The third piece of information Glasser wants is each person’s description of what is specifically wrong with the marriage. This question allows the couple to vent. They most likely will vent, and each will try and get the therapist to take sides. The key is as the therapist you do not react. Allow this to go on as long as you feel is appropriate, and at some point ask, “Is that all?” Your job is to take the side of the marriage and persist in helping the couple see that it is the marriage that is important, not each of their agendas. Sometimes this is difficult to do, but by not reacting and explaining you are there for the marriage, not each of them, you can get them to focus on why they are in counseling. They are there for the marriage.

The fourth question is usually one that is hard for the couple to answer. Glasser asks them, “What is good about your marriage right now? He needs to hear each person respond that there is at least one good thing that the couple experiences among all the pain. This provides something to build on and is something that gets them focused on their strengths. If one of them cannot identify something good about their marriage no matter how small it is, Dr. Glasser does not continue the therapy.

The last question is what gets the therapy started. Dr. Glasser asks them, “What is one thing you can do this week to make your marriage better? One thing you can do all week.

This is a simple yet brilliant question to determine right away if a couple is willing to work to bring life back to their marriage. If the couple cannot think of one thing to do to help their marriage for a week, it will be difficult to succeed in counseling. If they have a difficult time performing the task for the week, there is work that can be done, but if they can’t think of one thing, they may have already mentally exited from the relationship.

What alarms many about this approach to counseling is that it appears Dr. Glasser is not interested in the emotions and feelings around the couple’s experience. Perhaps in some way this is true, but as any good counselor will tell you there are plenty of ways to demonstrate empathy and to join the couple. In my short description of this process I am assuming that this is done. However, Glasser reminds us that if we spend too much time perpetuating the negative feelings and actions the couple is experiencing, it becomes the focus of the therapy. The real focus of the therapy should be how each partner can behave differently to make the marriage a priority.
Too often we try and “control” our partner. We perpetuate silly rituals that make us believe in some mystical way we are able to direct the other person’s thoughts, actions, emotions and behaviors. Taken to extremes, this can become a form of abuse. Really, if a couple can admit the only behaviors they can control are their own, and that what they really want to do is move forward in their relationship making their marriage a priority, they have a good start toward healing. It’s when we think that all the problems in a marriage are the other person’s fault and that I can change how they behave that we start down a slippery path toward separation.

My Experience at Regent

2010-04-08T17:39:00.001-07:00

I am often asked about my work at Regent University because I am a fairly devout Roman Catholic. Regent is often seen as being a purely Evengelical school that would have some form of anti-Catholic bias about it. That is really not how Regent works, in fact, Regent tries very hard to be very interdenominational. I wrote a piece about this that was published in the National Catholic Register. I wanted to share that with you folks that follow my Blog. You can find it at the following location:

http://www.ncregister.com/site/article/right_at_home_at_regent/

The Pursuit of Happiness

2010-04-06T20:49:00.000-07:00

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness”

If any of you are like me, you are great fans of American history. I am one of those people who go to Colonial Williamsburg a number of times throughout the year to “soak in” a period of time that I believe could have only given birth to the phrase you read above. I have been watching the HBO series “John Adams” as well, a birthday gift from my wife and children so you could say that I am a great fan of American History. There is an interesting psychology that went into the crafting of the Declaration of Independence that somehow has been lost today. The phrase above gives rise to the idea that God has placed in each human person rights that no other person can take away. One of these is the pursuit of happiness. Today, we believe that we are all “owed” happiness, but that is not what this declaration stated. This does not imply that we are supposed to be miserable and unhappy, but rather that happiness is something that we have a right to find. It is something that we actually must learn.

From my previous post on simplicity, we can already see that happiness is not something found in having more “stuff” regardless of what consumerism tells us. In fact, more generally leads to further discontent. Doing whatever you want also never really leads to happiness because then, once you have done everything that you want to do, you experience boredom, a very unhappy state. Some would have us believe that happiness comes from a lack of suffering. I am not sure if that is necessarily true either, because growth implies suffering at some level. Buddhists tell us that life is suffering. I am not sure if I totally agree with that either, for neither the complete elimination of suffering or the total experience of suffering brings joy, happiness, or even spiritual growth. The total elimination of suffering would mean that you have nothing to compare comfort to, so you would not know that it is a blessed state, and the complete life of suffering would imply an experience of oppression without relief. Some experience of suffering is psychologically healthy as is some experience of comfort. I have had clients who too often cause themselves to be continually in a cycle of suffering because they believe they need punished. Others, repress their suffering and live in a state of “false joy”. Learning to be happy means that when you suffer, it is an opportunity to learn, to purge yourself of situations that are painful, and reach out for something larger than yourself. Being content, being grateful, filling yourself with the hope of something more, and knowing that you are capable of experiencing peace in this life, is to learn happiness. You are responsible for the happiness in your life. There are many situations that are painful and that require you to grieve, cry, and experience sadness. However, you also have a responsibility to find peace, learn acceptance, and develop changes that bring about happiness. The following prayer teaches us about acceptance and is an encapsulation of wisdom that every human person should embrace. This is the key to learning “The pursuit of happiness!!!”

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardship as the pathway to peace. Taking as Jesus did this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that he will make all things right if I surrender to his will; that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with him forever in the next." —Reinhold niebuhr (1892—1971)

Simplicity - The forgotten Virtue

2010-04-06T20:46:00.000-07:00

In my reading for Lent this year, I picked up a book by Richard J. Foster which was called Finding Harmony in a Complex World, Freedom of Simplicity. Mr. Foster is a Quaker and is known for his ability to take some very complex spiritual writings from both Catholic and Protestant authors and develop them so they become quite understandable and useful in our modern world. One of his other books I read in the past called, The Celebration of Discipline is another wonderful work I would suggest for those interested in developing a sense of the spiritual disciplines. In his book on simplicity, his words struck me as a therapist who works with a number of clients suffering from anxiety, worry, and depression. In fact, he starts the book with the following comments:

“Contemporary culture is plagued by the passion to possess. The unreasoned boast abounds that the good life is found in accumulation, that “more is better.” Indeed, we often accept this notion without question, with the result that the lust for affluence in contemporary society has become psychotic: it has completely lost touch with reality. Furthermore, the pace of the modern world accentuates our sense of being fractured and fragmented. We feel strained, hurried, breathless. The complexity of rushing to achieve and accumulate more and more frequently threatens to overwhelm us; it seems there is no escape from the rat race.”

There is a great deal of wisdom found in determining a number of things about ourselves. The first is to assess the difference between what we truly need and the things we chase after just to have. In my life, I have a wall of books. Often I buy more simply to have more. Then, in my zeal for knowledge I make myself anxious and stress over making the time to read them. Simplicity as a virtue should cause me to ask, “what more do I need or can I learn from this book that I cannot already learn from those I already have.” Simplicity has me ask when ordering a meal, “how much of what I am about to order am I doing simply to “try it all” as opposed to enjoying that which I am blessed with?” As a virtue, simplicity’s best friend is temperance.

I think many of the psychological issues that people commonly experience in life can be dealt with by practicing simplicity. When one feels less pressure to have all that they can and rather be contented with what they are blessed with, they are no longer anxious about getting more nor are they depressed because of what they don’t have. When we see life in simpler terms, we no longer complicate it with drama or convolute our conversations with others by complicating the message we want to communicate to one another. Couples would tell one another that they want to love their partners and need help knowing how to do that. Parents would tell their children they love them first, and then demonstrate that by requiring proper behavior of them they want them to be better adults. And friends would not read each other’s minds to determine what the other is thinking, but would rather ask honestly and simply. Sounds simple, well it should be.

Forgiveness - The Power of Healing

2010-04-06T20:42:00.000-07:00

I was encouraged to read a book by my spiritual director called Healing of Memories written by Dennis and Matthew Linn. The book provides you with a wonderful perspective on the process of healing from past hurts and difficulties through the use of prayer and meditation. Although this small article cannot do the process justice, I want to share the steps with you. The best way to perform this exercise is to spend a few moment in prayer and solitude with God on a daily basis and then do the following:

1) Thank God for the gifts you have been given. A spirit of thankfulness for the smallest thing places us in a position to see God as the giver of all things, even healing.

2) Ask God what he wants to heal in you. God is always in charge and it is better to ask him what he wants for you than to tell him what you think needs healed. He knows us better than we know ourselves. Too often our need to “control” is what limits our ability to heal.

3) Share the painful memory with God that is placed on your heart.

4) Allow the Spirit of God to help you take away the anger and hurt you feel for those involved in the memory which has caused you pain.

5) Accept the love of God’s Spirit, allow that love to help you be thankful for the painful memory because of the spiritual fruit it has given you.

6) thank God for the healing, and begin to live as a healed person, a person of love.

This can be a spiritual exercise that bears much fruit and bring peace where you have felt nothing but pain.

Christian Counseling for the Non-Christian

2010-04-05T15:20:00.000-07:00

Can you work with people who are not very religious even though you claim to be a Christian and faith based counselor? I get asked that question often. The simple answer is YES!!! Here are the foundational principles of my Christian Counseling. If it does not conflict with your idea of the human person than you most likely will be comfortable with me.

The human person was created “good” but is flawed and therefore falls from its potential. In counseling we work to find ways to live a virtuous life which comes from outside our self, it comes from the divine. Secondly, it is in the context of entrusting ourselves to others and using the gifts which have been given to us in a positive sense, in a fulfilling manner, that we become more of a true person. This often involves using the gifts to help others. Thirdly, we were created with the great gift of choice. When this gift is exercised in a self-serving, selfish manner, we become unhappy. When it is used to freely chose love, to do what is right, then we experience happiness. We are not determined by biological forces or the sex drive, we are able to choose in many ways and find happiness when we live a life of meaning.

If you can see these philosophical foundations as something important, than even a non-religious person can find benefit from the Christian Counseling I provide.

Creatively Solving your Own Problems

2010-04-05T15:16:00.000-07:00

I have a simple approach to helping people. Although many people come for therapy, my approach can be used on your own. Of course there is an impact on my pocketbook when I share this with you, but I’m convinced you can solve many problems on your own. First, look at how you have addressed this problem in the past. I bet you have repeated a pattern over and over again. Try and identify it. Next, keep track of how often you are repeating that pattern in the present. Lastly, see if you can think of another way to solve that problem, perhaps you can use your experience from a similar past problem you have resolved. Finally, try and do this different thing NOW!!! If it doesn’t work, continue trying something different. Remember, it is your past repetition of the same pattern that has you stuck, so change the pattern. Solutions come from creativity, so use that creative gift of yours to solve your problems.

Depressed in Relation to What?

2010-04-05T15:12:00.000-07:00

When I initially started working with individuals suffering from depression, I was finding it difficult to know what to do with them. I remember bringing the frustration I was feeling to my supervisor and I explained to him that I was stuck and did not know what to do with my client. As usual, his advice was simple and direct. “Ask them what they are depressed in relation to.” I didn’t get it, “In relation to what?” I asked him. He replied, “exactly”. After that supervision session I thought through what was discussed and I got it. I was feeling frustrated and down because I could not help my client. Our feelings were in “relation” to something, not entities of their own. So, here is what anyone feeling depressed needs to start with. First, what are you depressed in relation to? Your job, your family life, your marriage, what is it. Then ask yourself, how were you acting and what were you doing when you were not depressed? I mean everything from how you dressed to what you ate. Lastly, just start doing things as you did when you were not depressed. By doing this, you change your relation to the very things that put you in that depressed state. It is a simple start, but it is a start and whenever we are struggling that is what we need!

Taking care of your Relationship with God

2010-04-05T15:06:00.000-07:00

A number of people whom I work with as a spiritual director tell me they are prayerful, spiritual people. I am often suspicious of these comments. “How are you prayerful and how are you spiritual?” is often how I respond. Prayer is mostly about relationship with God. You build that relationship the same way you build relationships with any other person, at least in the beginning. You need to ask yourself the following practical questions about your prayer life to determine how it is working out:

First, do I make time for the one I love? No relationship can be securely built on an “as needed” or part-time basis. One must make time to be with the one they love and this is important in prayer with God.

Secondly, do you share the things that are important in your life with God? Do you share your hopes and dreams with the divine in the same manner you would with any close person in your life? Do you do things with God in prayer, share scripture, walk in your neighborhood, or cook a meal in his presence? Do you listen to God in prayer? Like any relationship if you are not quiet with the other person you can never hear what they have to say, and that is not much of a relationship. Do you forgive God? Sometimes we are hurt and pained by what we believe God has done to us. Can we forgive as God forgives us? It is important to do this to stay in this relationship. Lastly, can you give your prayer life some space; however, remain in touch with God? Routine can make two people in a relationship very distant, sometimes we need to give each other space, and sometimes we just need to do things differently. So, how is your relationship with God? Are you taking care of that?

To my Male Therapist Friends - How to Help Women

2010-04-05T15:05:00.000-07:00

“What can a man know about women other than how to make them angry?” Well, I don’t claim to be an expert on women but there is research that sheds some light on the difference between the sexes. I recommend a book called “In a Different Voice” written by Carol Gilligan which describes how women and men develop differently psychologically and how much of the theory around psychology is rooted in male development without considering the feminine experience. Carol Gilligan demonstrates how such simple things as a women’s proclivity toward relationship building, sensitivity to the needs of others, and caretaking are often seen as deficits by moral developmental theorists such as Kohlberg who views relationship as subordinate to adherence to moral principles. Psychology often attempts to stamp a “one theory” approach to explain and help individuals and often these theories were developed by men using a male’s self reflection or the standards of a male institution. Do they work? Sure they do. Are they appropriate for women? At times yes, and at other times no! Simply realizing that the women coming into therapy have a different set of needs and self standards is the first step to helping them. What appears as simple sex in an affair to a husband is often interpreted by a woman as a strike at the very heart of what she is. No matter which partner commits the act, even when there is forgiveness, the wife often sees the wound in the relationship, the man simply sees sex. To really help people, we must become familiar with “all” people, including the women who seek our help.

The Divine Life of Books

2010-04-04T20:03:00.001-07:00

We boldly hold the book and grasp the pages in our hands.

We feel as if we are gods, able to breathe life into the black and white symbols on the page.

Then however, something mystical occurs. The very object we believed we are able to give life, breaths life back into us.

Those symbols which create mental sounds for us become words that inspire, guide, and lead us into new worlds.

Sometimes they draw tears from our eyes, smiles to our faces, and often they inspire us to live differently. How arrogant we are to believe that we breathe life into a book, when more often than not, the book breathes life into us.

Teaching Virtue to your Children

2010-04-04T19:49:00.000-07:00

As a psychologist, I’ve worked with people from all walks of life and with a number of different problems. People who have difficulty in their marriages, people who have anxiety, people who are depressed, you name it. One of my favorite professional tasks is working with good parents who want good ideas on parenting. This is most rewarding because it’s not so much about helping someone correct problems as it is teaching parents to utilize the raw material of childhood to build good human beings. Parenting is the most difficult endeavor individual’s will be tasked with but it can be the most rewarding as well.

One of the first things I’ve learned as a parent and professional is there are very few “absolutes” about raising children. What seems like good advice for one child is often quite the opposite for another. To try and come up with a one size fits all approach to parenting doesn’t work very well. After all, that is not how God made human beings; we are all unique creations which express the goodness of God. Good parenting means listening to the research and applying it appropriately as your situation needs. I believe that one of the most important things parents can teach children is virtue. It is a universal part of being human, and in fact many ancient philosophers such as Aristotle and Confucius have demonstrated that being human is living a virtuous life. They reflect a universal truth that the Christian religion realizes comes from God humself. In more recent times we’ve seen numerous books about virtue for our children, but how does one teach it to them?

I am going to develop some simple ideas from Aristotle’s work because I believe it is most applicable. He approaches the idea of virtue in a very practical way. So let’s start by identify what virtue is. Traditionally, there have been four “cardinal” virtues most great thinkers have said all other virtues derive from. These cardinal virtues as described in the Christian faith are prudence, justice, courage, and temperance. From these four it is believed that other virtues follow such as generosity, patience, etc. It’s all well and good to know these and they’re indeed a good starting point, but virtue extends in many directions. To act virtuously is to act in an appropriate manner, at an appropriate time, in an appropriate situation. How does a parent teach this and recognize a virtuous approach to a given situation?

To acquire virtue, one does not need to be a great scholar or saint. You simply start by acting virtuously. Virtue is like any other skill, it is acquired through habit. Whatever behavior one practices they then assimilate into who they are. We do this in most all areas of our life. How do we become readers if not by taking up words and learning how they go together and read? Reading is acquired through practice. If you think about a professional, how did they become an accountant, a computer programmer, or a manager? They acquired the skill by practicing the trade. That’s how we become virtuous, by practicing virtue. If you want your child to learn how to be temperate, to not overindulge in a particular activity, you help them practice the virtue of temperance. My son loves computer games but all parents know when a child spends most of his day in front of a video game it’s a fairly harmful practice. It’s also a vice known as overindulgence. By limiting his time, telling him he can play for one hour and then having him engage in more productive activities, he learns temperance. Will he scream and fight about it? Maybe, but as he develops he will learn to be temperate in other matters. So as a parent it’s my job to teach my children to practice virtue. Children learn in a number of ways. One important way of learning is imitating what another person is doing to assimilate the behavior. So, as a parent, children need to see you working out virtuous approaches to life as well to grow in virtue. Psychologists call this method of learning social learning theory, and it is an effective way to teach children particularly morality. If my child observes me take the extra change I was given boasting how the teller was an idiot and how I got one over on her, that’s not presenting a very just model for him to imitate. How about if I continue to overeat, what is that teaching my son about a balanced temperate way to enjoy food? If I practice virtue and help him learn to do so, then the acquired virtues will become a natural part of who he is.

What do you do when it’s difficult to identify the most virtuous behavior? Aristotle helps us here as well. He indicates that virtuous acts tend to be the mean between the extreme vices. For example, to be courageous one has to keep from being too rash and impulsive and too timid and frightened. Overzealous impulsive lack of concern for danger is a vice and harmful to an individual and others. Over timid fearful anxiety is also a vice that limits a person’s ability to participate in life. Between these two is the virtue of courage. Teaching our children to develop a sense of the middle way, the virtue between two activities is the way to instill in them what I call a “sense” of virtue. Let me give you another example. My daughter acquires a fairly good amount of money because of a birthday party and she wants to buy something with it. She finds an electronic MP3 player that can do more than any 11 year old would ever want to do with it. She also wants to save money and likes to have money in her account (she’s a lot like her mother). If she leans too much toward spending extravagantly, she will become a spender and lack the prudent understanding of how to use money. If she leans toward saving at a rate where she falls in love with just having money, she could fall into the vice of greed. As a parent I have a chance to make this a teaching moment. By helping her see the importance of saving money but also to use it to enjoy life, she can be happy. Perhaps she can find an MP3 player that she will enjoy while keeping some of her money to use later. The mean becomes the virtue.

I know this sounds overly simplistic, but it really isn’t. First, you need to think about your own life, what you value, and how you communicate those values to your children. They will learn to assimilate or reject those values based on how you live. If they see a parent living a happy life embracing values reflective of virtue, they will find the hard work required in becoming virtuous worth the effort. If they see a parent finding no joy in life, even if it is virtuous, they will reject those values. So the first thing you need to do is think about what you value and how you live a virtuous life. Happiness is not just a passing state of emotions, it is a well lived life and I agree with Aristotle, this life comes from living virtuously. The second thing needing understood is teaching the habit of virtue will be met with resistance. Temperance for example, often means self restraint, therefore pleasure is limited. No child likes that!!! It’s an important lesson though, one needing learned. Justice requires sharing, not having everything you want, and not getting what you want any way you can to get it. Again, that causes pain, and will be met with resistance. If the parent doesn’t set the boundaries, when children leave the nest, the world will teach them the hard lessons in a less forgiving way.

Virtue is taught in a very simple but challenging way. You identify how you model virtue for your children. In all activity, virtue is identified by finding the mean between the two negative features of excess and deficiency. Overeating and starving yourself are vices; the virtue is proper temperate eating. Lastly, set the consequences and rewards for virtuous living. If you don’t, a child who never learns temperance will be an overindulgent, overweight adult suffering from diabetes and heart conditions. There is a good life to be enjoyed for your child through virtuous living. Challenges and problems will be overcome with dignity when we teach them to embrace what is most human, a life of virtue.

The Gift of a Liberal Arts Education

2010-04-04T19:38:00.000-07:00

In the rush to keep up with the modern pace of job requirements, technology, and enrollment, I believe we sometimes forget the purpose of a liberal arts education. I am not implying that somehow a liberal arts education is superior to specialized medical schools, engineering programs, or applied sciences. Education has a multitude of purposes, and thus even the liberal arts college finds its place among these other institutes of higher education. I do wonder if those who attend a liberal arts college appreciate this particular approach to education. I know even in my academic history, I went to a particular college because of location, expense, and the quality of the program. The idea of liberal arts meant little to me. I have come to appreciate its significance though, particularly as an instructor during the past election. It was during this period that I was made keenly aware of how many people were walking around spouting streams of thought appearing to come from sound bites and television commercials. I heard individuals claim that African Americans would vote for Obamma because he is a man of color as if no African American was capable of discerning issues. The continued cry to vote for the pro-life stance as a single issue without considering other social concerns that may be best suited by another party struck me as somewhat naive even though I am committed to a pro life agenda. The insistence on the idea that a man is too old to run for office or that it must be a man with political experience continued to add to the stream of thoughtless jabber thrown at me.

There was a time when people received an education because it made them good citizens of their country. In fact, in the very fabric of our nation’s ideals is the idea that people will be able to exercise their cognitive abilities to guide the country properly. Democracy entrusts the direction of the nation to the hands of its citizenry. Sure, democracy has different forms, but at the heart of its exercise is the belief that “we the people” truly have a voice. Hopefully that is an educated voice.

To properly form future citizens a good liberal arts education is foundational. In fact, the majority of the framers of our nation where educated in the liberal arts. In fact, the story of the western world could be described as the continuation of a dialogue between the present and the past great ideas that have been handed down over the centuries. Today we still have the fine tradition of a liberal arts education, but I fear that those who teach there as well as those who attend have forgotten why it is such a unique educational experience. I have taught courses on religion, critical thinking, psychology, and even hybrid courses that look at the development of faith, its expression in formalized religion, and how these particular religions impact and are impacted by the societies they come from. Too often these courses are taken and taught in the spirit of “have to.” That is a shame because we are losing the real spirit of a liberal arts education when we take these courses too lightly or see them as hurdles to jump for a degree. I recently inherited a great set of books called “The Great Books of the Western World.” In that series I found these striking words in the introductory book called “The Great Conversation.” The passage reads:

“We believe that the reduction of the citizen to an object of propaganda, private and public, is one of the greatest dangers to democracy. A prevalent notion is that the great mass of the people cannot understand and cannot form an independent judgment upon any matter; they cannot be educated, in the sense of developing their intellectual powers, but they can be bamboozled. The reiteration of slogans, the distortion of the news, the great storm of propaganda that beats upon the citizen 24 hours a day all his lifelong means that either democracy must fall a prey to the loudest and most persistent propagandists or that the people must save themselves by strengthening their minds so that they can appraise the issues for themselves.”

This is the gift of a liberal arts education. It is the very source of strong discerning minds. Other forms of education are good, but their focus is less general and more precise. I have been through one Bachelor’s degree, two Master’s degrees, and a PhD program. One could safely say I have been exposed to a great deal of higher education over the past 24 years. I have taught online and within a traditional college setting. Nothing has bothered me as much as the idea that higher education is about finding a job. Even within my own discipline of psychology, the desire for clinical skills over philosophical understanding is growing to a point that psychology is about being trained to do clinical work. There is a richer heritage to the discipline finding its roots in philosophy and theology. Too often the aim is licensure, not a grounded liberal understanding of the social sciences. Before long, psychology programs will be aimed at training the student to pass state board exams over providing them with a diverse background concerning free will, teleological development, and concepts of mind and consciousness intrinsic to the theories encompassed in the discipline. Have some colleges lost the uniqueness of being a liberal arts institution? If we lose that charism, are we laying down to the voices described in the above passage screaming that pragmatic goals do not require philosophical inquiry?

When I teach, regardless of the subject, I work hard at finding readings from great minds of the west (and at this point in our history the east) that add voice to our subject of study. I may ask a question such as, “How does virtue play into the development of social structures and does virtue supersede religious experience?” In response to that question, I will assign readings from Aristotle, perhaps something from the Confucian tradition, and a modern article that may address virtue in American society. Then I expect my students to discuss this, take a position on the topic, and justify why they believe what they believe or understand things as they understand them. Sometimes it works well; sometimes it falls on deaf ears asking the question, “Why do I need to know this stuff?” I can see why my colleagues give up. Perhaps we have become a society of sound bites and television commercials where MTV and reality television become the reference points for our thoughts. The voice of democracy is no longer influenced by sages of the past but rather a conglomeration of quotes from Star Wars and the God Father (i.e. “keep your friends close but your enemies closer”).

I know this sounds very negative, and yes perhaps it is born from the frustration of fighting through another semester of convincing my students the liberal arts education they are receiving is making them better people, but I am still convinced that we can make a difference. The hope for our democracy remains in the hope that the average person can and will grapple with the important ideas of freedom, truth, liberty, and natural rights. As for me, I will continue to make those ideas important for my students and hope that we will vote as informed citizens of a free society.

The Magic of Youth

2010-04-04T19:35:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite tasks is teaching a course Faith, Religion, and Society at Seton Hill University. I love engaging young people concerning faith, how it develops, and how it is practiced. I love discussing religion and such philosophical questions as is there a God, what is God like, and how do we relate to this divine entity. Lastly, I enjoy helping young people wrestle with the ideas of religion and its impact on society.

One thing you discover about these young students is the vast array of beliefs they have concerning religion. I’m usually most struck by how young Catholics view issues. Many of them struggle with the ideas and traditions of the Church. They wrestle with a hierarchy residing in lavish homes asking their families, hard working middle class Americans, for money to help build a new building named for a former Bishop they never heard of. They struggle with incorporating the disciplines and challenges of living a Catholic life when experiencing freedom for the first time living away from home. When it comes to government, caring for others, and meeting the needs of the poor they are filled with suggestions and thoughts of a possible Utopia. One would say this group of Catholics is not exemplary of traditional Catholic life. Some of them only go to Mass occasionally, a number of them question the use of confession, and others want to know why women cannot be ordained.

There was a time in my life I was very much like them. There was also a time in my life that I very much believed they needed “straightened out” and I may have even dismissed them as “cafeteria Catholics.” I worked part time in a Catholic parish and I often heard that we are failing our young people and need to do something about the mess they’re in. I often respond by presenting the following scenario.

Let’s say a young woman comes to your parish to register and be a part of the community. This woman is somewhat new to the faith, a convert from another Christian denomination. She has had an abortion in the past and is an unwed mother. She and her daughter tend to travel a great deal as her mother is a real advocate for the poor and often argues for them in a number of cities. She has been called a socialist because she believes we need to care for those who struggle. Not long before she came to join your parish she was living with another man and they split up. This woman has a real distrust for authority and often spoke out openly about the fact most religious communities have such great wealth that it seemed hypocritical in light of the Gospel. Lastly, this woman is a pacifist and often spoke out against the Iraq war. How would you welcome her into your parish?

What most people don’t realize is this short list of characteristics is reflective of a women many in the Church hold to be a saint. Short of the protests toward the Iraq war, these are characteristic of the life of Dorthy Day. She was raised an Anglican, but she found no use for God as a young person. She believed strongly early in life that social action was necessary and was thought to be a socialist. She had an abortion, a daughter out of wedlock to a man she was living with who subsequently left her, and lived with another man for some time. Even after her conversion, she was adamant about challenging the Church to social responsibility which was spelled out clearly in the social encyclicals of the popes. She believed some religious communities were more interested in money than the Gospel life and said so in her publication the Catholic Worker. She protested most every war up until the Vietnam war, and was believed to have been a communist. If we only see people for where they are now we really miss what they may potentially become. Too often ministers in the Church quickly dismiss people who appear to be selective in their faith or live contrary to Catholic teaching. Dorthy Day had a rough start, and was a controversial figure even when she fully embraced the Catholic Church; however Cardinal O’Conner found her to be a true witness to Christian virtue and started her cause for sainthood.

I know in the past, I tended to forget where I came from and thought everyone just needs to be where I am, going to Mass every weekend, never questioning the authority of the hierarchy, and doing things exactly as they are spelled out in the handy dandy Catholic hand book. I was wrong. Obedience is important, but often it is something you grow into. Dorthy Day started out living the bohemian lifestyle and saw someone far from the cause for sainthood. She grew in obedience yet maintained fervor for change and social action even when it called for questioning some of the institutional practices of the Christian faith. Her love for the orthodox faith grew and she was able to synthesize her early zeal for social action in a way that highlighted what was good and true in the social encyclicals of the popes. Who knows, maybe one of these young Catholic college students I have in my course will find themselves changing the communities they live in and being presented for canonization as an American Saint. Perhaps they can teach me as I find enjoyment in teaching them.

Evolutionary Psychology and the Existence of God

2010-04-04T19:33:00.000-07:00

Evolutionary Psychology has the influence and star qualities Behaviorism had in the 1940’s and 1950’s for the practice of psychology. It seems that using the lens of natural selection to describe human behavior continues to grow, while the more classical ideas of the mind, human freedom, and non-deterministic theories have become passé. The work of such thinkers as Pascal Boyer, Justin Barrett, and Steven Pinker have brought the evolutionary approach for understanding human behavior into every conceivable element of psychological inquiry. This also includes the phenomenon of religion.

Atheists have to contend with the fact that every culture in the world has a natural proclivity toward religion. Atheism in a sense is learned later, early on human beings have a religious sense about them. The smallest tribe in the remotest part of the world has ideas concerning the divine, the after-life, and the mystical. Of course, a number of Evolutionary Psychologists would contend the reason for this system of belief is that there is an adaptive quality being served and therefore belief is important to the gene pool for survival. Other Evolutionary Psychologists propose that even if there is no adaptive purpose for this belief, then the belief in such a thing as “God” is merely a byproduct of other neurological adaptive processes. Regardless of their reasons, they dismiss the phenomenon as being nothing more than the result of adaption through the process of natural selection. Evolutionary Psychologists carry the banner of the famous “pseudo-atheist” Voltair who claimed “If God did not exist; it would be of necessity that he be created.”

Following the ideas above, it is interesting to note neurologists may actually bolster the claims of Evolutionary Psychology due to new technology in brain scanning equipment. Because of a condition called Temporal Lobe Epilepsy a number of neurologists have discovered that a great deal of brain activity related to religious experience occurs when the temporal lobes of the brain are stimulated. The idea is that this area of the brain (right near the ears) seems to be where the experience of religion is generated much like part of the brain is associated with language (Paul Broca and Carl Wernicke, early pioneers in brain function identified the left hemisphere of the brain to be the location for language). Given that there appears to be a genetic disposition toward rreligion just as there is for language, there must be an adaptive reason for this phenomenon, at least so says the Evolutionary Psychologist. Provided with the “scientific” evidence, it appears a great deal of the world also concurs.

As one who consistently deals with human beings working through psychological issues, the more deterministic view of behavior and belief has never made much sense. Theories such as those proposed by Sigmund Freud which are not necessarily evolutionary in nature but contain the same deterministic predisposition never really work when it comes to helping individuals make change. Freud’s idea that we are predisposed to act a certain way because of how we were weaned from the breast or were treated by our mothers does nothing to help an individual recover from anxiety or depression. Just knowing that this may have happened does not prescribe how to change the associated behavior and actually destroys the concept of the free will. Evolutionary Psychology tends toward the same presupposition and has one believe that we are genetically predisposed to behave a certain way and free will has little to do with what we do. So for the Evolutionary Psychologist, religion and the belief in God is not something we freely choose, but rather a biologically programmed response for adaptive reasons. In their view religion can be disposed of or ignored because when one uses the act of reason, one can just as easily develop the moral and social norms required to exist in communion which religion appears to have provided for our ancestors. My question to those of this persuasion is if it was required for survival and through the process of natural selection has continued, shouldn’t their own theory indicate that rekigion continues to be a required trait for survival? After all, that is the purpose of natural selection, to keep what is necessary and filter out what is not needed. One may respond that just like we continue to have a gallbladder and wisdom teeth, the genetic predisposition for religion is an obsolete appendage which can be removed without harm.

In the Catechism of the Catholic Church, we read:
“God, infinitely perfect and blessed in himself, in a plan of sheer goodness freely created man to make him share in his own blessed life. For this reason, at every time and in every place, God draws close to man. He calls man to seek him, to know him, to love him with all his strength. He calls together all men, scattered and divided by sin, into the unity of his family, the Church. To accomplish this, when the fullness of time had come, God sent his Son as Redeemer and Savior. In his Son and through him, he invites men to become, in the Holy Spirit, his adopted children and thus heirs of his blessed life.”

According to Christian theology, there is a “God hole” existing in every human person because the human person was created to live a life united with God. Human yearning calls out to this mystery we call God. By the use of the free will, the human person communes with God and finds its purpose and meaning within that relationship. God created the physical and metaphysical world and therefore it should be no surprise that he created a neurological system that seeks communion with him. The existence of biological structure does not imply there is no God, but rather speaks to the very existence of God. Much as we find in the universe the intrinsic truth and beauty of intelligent design, so can we see in this “God Spot” further evidence of the creator’s existence. Once again, the argument of whether science proves or disproves the existence of God is inappropriate because it is not the purpose of science to prove or disprove his existence. Science investigates the natural order through the use of reason; it does a beautiful job at setting the stage for that next movement of the soul, which is faith. If anything, I thank the science that continues to discover we are “wired for God”, not because it disproves his existence but rather provides a place for the very discussion to occur. No better place for evangelization in a world so in love with materialism and rationalism could ever exist.

Five Steps to Improving your Marriage

2010-04-04T19:30:00.000-07:00

If you’re having difficulty with your marriage and you feel that perhaps there has to be a better way to work things out with your spouse you’re probably right. Families are dependent on a strong parental unit; I see it all the time as a family therapist. When parents cannot get along, the impact stretches through to the children. Parents will not work together in parenting and therefore children get mixed messages. What can we do? Shouldn’t our spouse just change and make things better? Too often we get caught up in what our spouse has to do to make the marriage better when in fact there are some simple steps we can take as well to improve the situation. Here is an easy 5 step process to making your marriage work. The experts have presented the following tips that every couple needs to negotiate to make things work.

First: Facilitate more positive interactions with one another.

Be interested, affectionate, show concern, and be empathetic. Studies indicate that couples who demonstrate a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative behaviors are more successful. If we find ourselves interacting more negatively than positively we have to find a way to change that ratio. Dr John Gottman who studied a great many marriages and can predict divorce within the 90th percentile sees this as a big red flag. Find ways to be more positive in your interactions with your spouse and make that ratio work for you. Identify when humor is appropriate, find ways to let one another know you love each other even when you don’t necessarily like each other.

Second: Ask yourself if what you’re doing is good for your marriage.

Before you do something, ask yourself if it is a positive thing to do for your marriage. This sounds simple but it puts your relationship in the front of your decision making process all the time. By nature we tend to be more “self” focused than “couple” focused. If we take the time to think about how something may impact the “we” part of our lives, we immediately realize that our choices need to be considerate of our spouse. Making plans with friends, buying things, and even making plans with extended family can become an issue if you are not thinking first and foremost how it will impact your relationship with your partner. Too often we don’t like to do this because we think we are always deferring to our spouse or getting some kind of permission to behave a certain way. The truth is we are giving in to the relationship. When you enter marriage, you choose to make that relationship a primary factor in who you are. You are not giving in to someone, you are choosing to be a more fully what you have become.

Third: Fighting is fine, marriage terrorism is not.

Fight fair. Do not criticize, be contemptuous, be defensive, or stonewall. Criticize behavior, not your partner. You want to stop the negative interactions before you begin to stonewall, a term Dr. Gottman uses to describe a couple who just does not care what the other person in the relationship thinks, wants, or feels. If you get to that point, reversing the problem can be very difficult. It is perfectly acceptable to yell, scream, and argue if it is about what someone has done, said, or bought. It is not acceptable to scream at someone because of who they are. Indifference is the enemy of love, and unfortunately a pattern of criticism and negative feedback about who another person is leads them to this unfortunate place.

Fourth: Whose behavior can you control?

Work on changing your behavior, not your partner’s. You can only change yourself not others. When you change yourself, your partner will change. Families and marriages are social systems engineered to find balance. If you change your behaviors the relationship will adjust. Being more kind and considerate will change how your spouse interacts with you. Dr. Glasser pioneered the ideas of choice therapy, a complete system based on the ideas that you control your own behaviors and no one else’s. You can always control your response to your partner. You control your behaviors no one makes you behave in a particular manner. You have little direct control over your spouse’s behavior so don’t get caught up in control psychology, it just doesn’t work in personal relationships.

Fifth: Do something different.

Break patterns that are not working. As simple as it sounds, it is seldom done. If something in your relationship isn’t working, do something different!! Bill O’Hanlon has taught people for some time now that if you continue to think of possibilities and solutions, you don’t have to get bogged down by what is not working. By doing the same thing over and over again, you are only repeating the same mistakes and getting the same negative results. Look for opportunities and possibilities to change your interactions. If you are continually nagging your spouse to do something and that does not work, try changing your approach. If romance is not happening because you continue to throw subtle hints as to your physical need for intimacy, try doing something different like asking your spouse out on a date. Just do something different and break the pattern! These are some great points that have worked for a number of couples I counsel in my practice as a Marriage and Family Therapist. Try them, you may find that your relationship just continues to get better, your family is happier, and that’s a good thing!

The Music of Marriage

2010-04-04T19:27:00.000-07:00

Being married is like being part of a symphony. In a symphony a conductor keeps everyone together making beautiful music. In marriage, we don’t have one person conducting we have two. The key is learning to conduct together. The four instruments you conduct are money, sex, in-laws, and kids (M – for money, S- for sex, I- for in-laws, and K- for kids, MSIK pronounced “music”.)

Learning to live together isn't easy. Apparently that’s why close to 50% of the people in our country decide they perform better as soloists. So if a couple can learn to be co-conductors, they can learn to live together and make lovely music. But they need to agree on how to deal with four major stressors in their marriage. They have to learn how to negotiate spending habits, share intimacy, deal with each other’s families, and rear children. These four stressors are the cellos, violins, pianos, and bass violins that co-conductors coordinate creating the sounds of marital music. Following the research of Betty Carter and Monica McGoldrick, two researchers in family psychology, you discover every family goes through certain life stages. Every family deals with leaving home, the joining of families through marriage, having children and raising them from babies through young adulthood, and then growing old and becoming the family’s older generation. There are plenty of things we must accomplish as our families move through these developmental stages. Marriage and family life can be overwhelming. However if we balance the four stressors we have a fighting chance to move through these cycles successfully. Let’s look at them in more detail. We will start with finances.

I remember the first time I spent money on something my wife thought was a bad idea. We owned a business and needed a copier so I purchased one believing I found a real deal. I took my catch to the office and my wife looked at me like I had three heads. That’s when I realized how money could impact our relationship. We learned to be honest with ourselves and each other. I was a spender. When I saw something I wanted, I bought it. My wife was an extreme bargain hunter. We couldn’t buy anything unless it was marked down 700%. There were two things we needed to work out. First, we both had to admit our spending habits weren’t compatible. She bargain hunted things into oblivion and I bought what I wanted without a second thought. Of course we each believed our way was best. But to get over this hurdle we agreed on a compromise. We agreed either of us could buy anything for $100 or less without discussing it. After that initial compromise we learned to budget together, set common saving goals, and plan our future, not as individuals but as a couple.

Sex is another hot topic among couples. He complains she doesn’t enjoy making love as much as when they were first married and she says all he ever wants to do is have sex! The problem is women think they can change their man and men believe women never change. People change as do their desires and interests. Some couples start off with a very active sex life. Some couples start off slowly and then spice it up later. Most couples have peaks and valleys and they need to work with each other through them. You do that by communicating. Too often a very destructive cycle rears its ugly head. One partner initiates sex; the other gives the polite cold shoulder. One feels rejected and thinks the other is no longer interested. After a number of attempts one pulls away and feels disconnected. Some time passes and the two of them are no longer able to connect intimately. Do you know how the whole cycle could have been avoided? They could have talked about it. The initiating partner could have asked, “Why is it you’re not interested in sex?” If you talk to each other about your sex life you may be pleased with the results. Telling each other what you like and when you like it is a great part of intimacy. Also, keep in mind everyone expresses love differently. A backrub may be as sexually fulfilling as intercourse for some. Intimate sexual relations aren’t always about what you think pleases your partner; it’s about what pleases your partner.

In regards to the whole marriage concept, isn’t it interesting you fall in love with a person yet you end up marrying a family? Why am I in marital counseling when it’s my wife’s family who’s crazy, not me? It’s important to remember marriage is about blending more than two people together. It’s the melting of two family histories, patterns, religions, nationalities, and traditions. “We always go to mom’s house for Christmas; she’d just die if we didn’t.” If you haven’t heard that yet, just wait. The point is you need to negotiate what’s important for your new family and what place your extended family has in it. It’s important to keep connections with your extended family. Problems occur when you continue to live as if your family of origin is your immediate family. Learn to negotiate the in-law crisis early. It could save you hundreds in counseling bills.

Once you have those initial four instruments singing, you’re on to the last one, children. There’s a saying written among an array of pictures of my children on the refrigerator door. It says “Children are a gift from God”. Its interesting God doesn’t include a receipt in case you want to return the gift. From child care to college expectations, kids continue to impact your marriage. You need to assume a posture of flexibility in child rearing. Decide if something isn’t working we’ll try something else, and keep a united front when making decisions. Children are great at finding fractures in parental unity. I took a parenting seminar as part of my graduate studies. What I most learned was there is no ultimate solution to parenting. Read what appeals to you and try whatever you can make work; the key is doing it together and wanting the best for your kids. You both need to be parents regardless of how you divide the duties.

In closing let me say this. You’ve decided you want to be married; when you do that a little bit of your individuality dies. That doesn’t mean you can’t go out with the girls or to a game with the guys, but it does mean you have to consider someone else before you do so. The great thing about giving up a little of that individuality is it gets replaced with being a part of someone else and having them become a part of you. That’s something very special and worth the effort it takes to make the music of marriage work.

Where Are you God

2010-04-04T19:01:00.000-07:00

Where are you God? The cold chill of winter blows against my skin, yet I do not feel you here with me, only icy fingers that feel like death drawing life from me.

Where are you God? The heat of a day’s work presses against me as a wave does against the rocks on the shore, soaking them and slowly eroding their existence.

Where are you God? The silence speaks so loudly that it drowns out the voices of those who love me concerned for my well being, I hear only muffles of affection.

I look for you God, but my eyes strain to see past the colors and lights of this world which blind me to the divine presence.

I listen for you God, but my ears only hear the tones, pitches, and octaves of a hurried life, one that keeps me from being with you.

I seek out your fragrance God, but only smell the perfumes and bouquets of nature’s changes and the fumes from buses and cars which choke off the life within me.

Then, in some small way, I find you. When I quiet myself, when I allow your spirit to wrap itself around me, I find you.

There you are, in the winter cold that blows against my skin cooling my passions and giving me a crisp clear spirit refreshing as mint in one’s mouth.

There you are Lord, in the heat of work purifying what I do to be a perfect offering to you, one purged of the selfish acts which first enabled it.

Again, I hear you Lord, in the quiet of the day whispering love songs to me through the voices and friends who care for me.

You are there Lord, in the colors of the world, the sounds of the city, and the fragrance of the country. There to be communed with and adored drawing me into the holiness of your existence.